It's about time

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In the grown-up world, they deal with money, investments, and legality of all things. Papers and contracts have to be signed, and all things important have to be kept in a safe. In the grown-up world, it isn't just about freedom and independence, but more importantly knowing that you are accountable for what you are doing. In the grown-up world, you have to know how to deal with people professionally, clear-headed and calm, because chances are you'll get to nowhere if you let your emotions run you down. In the grown-up world, there are more things that have to be dealt with seriously because the consequences are far too great, and it doesn't just concern you, but the people around you.

I've always thought the grown-up world is too scary. I've always thought responsibilities beyond homeworks and academic responsibilities are too serious and heavy enough to weigh down one's disposition in life. Adults speak in a jargon that's difficult to understand if you're not in the know. Adults can do so much to you if you don't know what you are doing. But I also realized, in the grown-up world there are those who disguise themselves to be mature people in number and in age, but in actions, they're not. I realized there really is nothing to be scared about in their world, because as long as you keep yourself informed and be guided with respect, you will get yourself fairly well through their world.

Things I learned in their world:
1. It's okay to ask questions, you just have to know the right people to ask these questions to.
2. Always be informed to counter those poser adults who only know to take advantage of people in their ignorance.
3. Be confident. Age has nothing to do with confidence. Rather, it comes from the fact that you know something.

In the grown-up world, people can be far too serious with their work. I realized to smile, to laugh, to be charitable to these grumpy people are the things they miss from their childhood days. It's good to remind them of these because it helps them to go back, that hey, they once had a happy life.

Cheer up, you grumpy old people. And stop taking advantage of people you think are ignorant of what their doing... that's just so childish.

Surface Thoughts

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We're about to end our research. Few more days and we'll be presenting it before a panel of doctors. I will miss feeding the chickens (not). I will miss cleaning their poop trays and cages (not). I will miss weighing their feeds (not). Ah, but this week will be my last chance to do these things with them, and I just can't wait to get this research over.

With all the rants poured out because of what stress this research has brought over, it's time to thank the people who helped me hold on and understand things I can't easily understand, be it research or non-research related. Thank you, researchmates. You know who you are. I will miss our work sessions together (definitely). See you around. :) 

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Egg party, anyone?

To Life

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Are you still here out of love? Or are you, as well, steered down by love of comfort and greed? People have been seeking you out for their own good. They only think of the material and tangible consequences of their actions, without even considering its moral implications. It's scary, I tell you. We are slowly redefining both life and killing to their opposing poles. The importance of life is no longer inclined to the thought of giving life, but to get life we want for ourselves. The gravity of killing is desensitized by our so-called "medical concerns" and "women's rights", so much so, abortifacient pills are more of protective pills than toxic substances to life.

Man's greed for pleasure is feeding on a hedonistic society. We want pleasure without responsibility. We have taken out this pleasure out of its good context and time frame, because we want it for ourselves and we want it now. You are lived as if you're not time-bound anymore. People want everything now, at this instant. Have we already lost the concept of waiting?

Life used to thrive on values and virtues, but now, people are trying to prove we could have you without these virtues and values, such that a campaign arose: "There probably is no God, so stop worrying and enjoy life."

But not to worry, there are still a number of us ready to fight for you. What you truly are must be revealed, what beauty you possess must be simply lived.

and yet another death

when my dad died, it hurt me, like there was a numbing force that hit my heart. but when this girl died unexpectedly, it hurt me like little pinpricks everytime i remember her. I was never really close with Lei (middle of the photo). But for a short period of time I got to know her, I grew to like her and appreciate her as a person. I met her when we danced to represent psych in front of the whole CSSP, dancing Dancing Queen. After that, she would always greet me like we were longtime friends already. She would always greet me "Ate Karen" even if i never wanted anyone calling me "Ate". One time she disclosed "Natutuwa ako kay Ate Karen, kasi para siyang si Ate Cris." Even if her knowledge of me was still that superficial, I already liked her bubbly personality. We were both "feeling close" to each other. We would team against one of my batchmates, and it just seemed natural that we be like that to each other. I remember forcing her to go to the Benefit Concert we had. She was not obliged to, but she did even if it meant going out of her way.

When I heard the news, my heart stopped. I could not hear her name right. Or maybe it was my way of denying it was "Lei" i was hearing. I thought, who? Elaine? May? But there was no point denying. what I heard was right, and it was "Lei". My first thought, Lord, why? I would not understand well, and I wonder what more if I were in the place of her parents, or the people closer to her. I guess everyone was at that point of asking why, since everyone was caught by this big surprise.

Hindi naman kami close, pero bakit ko siya ginagawan ng blog entry? Because with the little time I had with her, she has touched my heart dearly. Her passing away reminds us that sometimes, life will not allow us to be able to say goodbye to everyone we love, but that each moment spent with them should be one that you would want them to remember you by.

Unknowingly, she was already bidding goodbye to each of us during her last days on earth. It was a sweet goodbye such that we never noticed it was already her last, and it was a sweet goodbye because the times she spent with us are those we would always remember her by.

I still hear her laughing. Lei had that distinct laugh. It was a laugh she could never fake. Her happiness was always genuine, and it was such that would make you unconsciously happy as well.

In my head, I see her standing in the middle of the crowd. Everyone's attention is directed to her, with her loved ones surrounding her. And I stand at a distance as she glances to my direction to say a short goodbye. And I respond with a simple but heartfelt thank you. You will be missed, Lei.

Dad, meet Lei. Lei, meet my Dad. :) He would tell you how I was also asthmatic as a kid, and how pasaway I was about my asthma. Oh, and he's a pulmo specialist, he'll take care of you. or maybe there's no need. silly.

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photo from sam isleta

The Last Stone

It doesn't feel like I'm facing my last days of my undergraduate years. Graduation seems to be a little elusive. With the lot of requirements that are yet to be finished, graduation still seems unimaginable. Hmm which reminds me, I haven't seen any sunflower along the university avenue. The array of flowers that are supposedly for our graduation have not grown yet and I guess somehow it hasn't set the mood yet for us graduating batch.

Just a little over a month left, and we're about to march for graduation already. The remaining days of school may not have been too pleasant, but I know it wouldn't be for long. As I put the last stone in place, I hope to make it a fulfilling and worthwhile moment.

This last stone marks I DID WELL. no to mediocrity, that is.

burger! burger! burger!

"AYEN!!!!!!!!!! You made it!!! CONGRATS dear!" -ais

I've been waiting for this moment when I'd be able to blog about this.


i am officially part of UP College of Medicine 2014. :)

Results came out a day earlier. In the middle of our chem31 experiment, two of my classmates were already shouting because they got a text message saying they passed UPCM. I could not concentrate on the experiment anymore because i had not received any text message yet. it was already making my knees weak, and my insides were already shouting. I had to ask a favor from a friend to know if I passed or not, and her reply was the one quoted above. i wanted to shout, but I couldn't. suddenly i felt my tears coming out, and they were joyous tears.

Yes, Dad. I passed! :) I passed, Dad. I couldn't help it. I think I cried upon finding out because I imagined how you'd be so proud of me if you were here. I almost called you at your work to tell you I passed, only to remember you're not at work anymore. But I would have called, and we would have celebrated together even if the rest of the family couldn't be with us yet. I wish I could tell you personally that I passed UPCM. I imagine you shaking my hand, acting like we're on stage, and me just hugging you back because I'm just so happy. It's to see your face and that same look you gave me during my debut. Any only daughter would know how priceless it is to be looked upon with pride by her dad.

Dad, I passed!!! :)

happy-yo

fleeting sense
senseless flights

wide awake
with caffeine hype

happy-yo
happy-yay

how are you?
howdie ye?

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i just know something significant happened today. but the lack of sleep i've been having for the past weeks is getting its toll on me. My memory seems to be lost in transit, as I try to push some thoughts behind, and as i put my mind to a better focus.

i'm thinking, i'm thinking.

you know how it feels when you get home, and you don't exactly feel well-rested, but you just feel accomplished. it's not exactly a sigh of relief for having gone through the day, but more on a breath of gratitude for something significant that happened today. I can't seem to put my finger on it, but I know something really good happened today.

ahh! i think i'm getting a better grasp of it. Significant, yes, but probably not to all. Today was a day of sticking to decisions. Today was a day of finding the energy to pull beyond my old self. Today meant I could actually go beyond? Today was an ordinary day, turned... well it was still ordinary. Put simply, today meant hope and it becoming reality.

either that, or... it was just the tipsy-sleepy feeling i've had the whole day. :))

Thoughts of Missing.

A friend asked me, what do I do when I miss you. I said, i tell you, "Dad, I miss you." and that's just about how I feel at present. I miss you, Dad! I have not gone to your garden in a while, but even so, I'd be missing you just the same.

I just had my chem exam last Saturday, and to whom do I better talk about such things if not with you. For some reason, that geekiness in us brought a lot of bonding moments between us. I remember when you were still at the hospital, and we were both answering my physics exam, we were trying to see where I went wrong. You've forgotten most of the concepts, but you knew well the right questions to ask. golly, you were always that smart. You told me that for the most part, I know what I'm doing, but that my carelessness leads me to committing a lot of mistakes. I don't think I'd ever forget that, but I hope it gets into my consciousness to really shake that carelessness off me.

And then, what else? I had a tutorial session a while ago. Goodness, Dad! It was utterly exhausting! There were only three of us to give the review to 3 sections. We were all not used to teaching both girls and boys at the same time, and it was simply a riot. Ahh... patience is indeed a virtue.

Lastly, I was at your workplace last Friday. We had a benefit concert held there for DMMC, the foundation that gives music therapy for children with autism and other disabilities. It went great! I really thought at start that it was going to be a flop project. I'd like to think your presence somehow urged others to support the event. When I had to sell raffle tickets for a project, you were most willing to buy all the tickets from me. When I had to handle a Christmas Party for the kids, you were most willing to shoulder our expenses. You were always that supportive to my projects. And well, your support has never stopped, but was even strengthened because you're near Him.

Finding myself still doing this, I feel like your old little girl --- how I try to make you proud, and how it makes me happy everytime I'm able to make you happy. I hope to see you smile at me, and see in your eyes that you're proud of me. And i hope to see it someday... someday.

Everyday is a new beginning, Dad. Sometimes it feels like a deja vu, because sometimes it's as if I'm faced with the same struggles every time, but then, realizations kick in, resolutions surface and I find myself pushing more and more to effect the change that's always needed --- always aiming to go beyond (mostly beyond my comforts and beyond my selfishness).

How about you, Dad? How's it been there?

guiding memories

Hi dad. How are you? I wonder what crazy antics you've been doing there. Have you tried cooking your favorite food? Have you tried cooking an artichoke just as you learned from cooking shows?

Well, life here's pretty much the same. only everyday that i wake up, i realize life gets harder and harder, yet it gets more fulfilling to live. There's probably no need to tell you what's been going on here, but there's this satisfaction of being able to share these things with you, hoping i could really tell these things before you.

We have a new dog! Tobi's his name (from toblerone). you're probably going to hate him more than you hated Hershey, because he's extremely playful and there's no doubt you're bound to step on him since he's so small. and you'll probably kick him aside when he gets in the way. Nonetheless, he'll take it as you playing with him, and he'll even love you for that. Aww dad, i know you secretly loved hershey when you were here. telling us that when all of us were already asleep as you come home, hershey comes running to you, standing on her two hindlimbs, trying to get your attention. I knew how much you appreciated those moments. well, here's another dog to welcome you home, only you're already home and won't need these dogs.

for the past days, i've been thinking about you more than usual. when life seems to get tougher, i imagine how you were able to go through your own struggles. i imagine what you would have told me if i tell these things to you. i imagine what you would have done yourself if you were in my position. i remember during the times that you yourself went against the grain, and how you simply went on it without hesitation because you knew well you were fighting for what's right, and what's true. i wish i were as strong as you were.

i miss you, dad. sometimes i wish you were still around, because having you around meant i don't have to push myself to be stronger. because with you, i'm still someone's little girl, and i get the license to be dependent on you. i remember how you once told me, "19 years old ka na? hindi ba 16 ka lang?" aww dad, it's like you forget that you danced with me during my debut. i guess it's natural for an only girl to be her dad's little girl forever, even until the point you should have walked me down the aisle.

in any case, dad, you know i'm doing great. you know how you're still very much part of my everyday life. your memory has led me to a lot of good and right decisions, and i intend to continue living with the same guiding thoughts.

yes, i promise to study really really well, to be on guard when commuting, and not to lose hope when life seems to tell me i'm not for med. haha dad, you would have to convince harder than that.

parents

I admire people who value their parenthood. i admire people who do not just enter parenthood because they were led to being parents, but because they themselves wanted to be parents no matter what it takes. i admire people who bring parenthood to a high pedestal, such that being parents themselves is already a priceless treasure.

with the recent issue on contraceptive and family planning going around, i can't help but be saddened by the fact that there are still a lot of those who wish to limit their parenthood to mere obligation and within their selfish wants. Of course, smart parenting requires that you plan your family, and that you ensure each child is given what he/she needs. But of course, smart parenting requires, as well, that sacrifices have to be made in little things and in big things. at the end of all arguments, it's a matter of how one is willing to love and deny oneself.

a little girl to her friend:

girl: she's my mom (referring to her yaya)
friend: but she's not your mom, she's your yaya. where's your real mom?
girl: mommy's working so we get to go to hongkong every weekend.

sometimes we are led to think that to be a good parent is to give all the material wants of the children --- that the love of a parent can be measured by how many trips and dolls you are able to give to your child. but when asked what your child's favorite color is, you couldn't even answer a guess.

yes, we need to save money for the child's future. but what future are you trying to paint for your child? think of how much love you will be able to give beyond what money can buy. think of how much love your child really needs, beyond what you thought trips to London could give her.

More than valuing money for your child, maybe you could teach your child to value money. more than taking your time to build the future of your child, maybe you could spend time with your child to know what future she wants for herself.

how much love can you give to your child? how much are you willing to sacrifice for your child?

today i see yellow again.

i have been unhappy the past days. not sad, but unhappy. sometimes, even if i'm aware that happiness is a choice, i dwell too much on negative vibes, not knowing how much it's already polluting my neurons and nerve endings. it's been pretty gloomy. and i could not say what effort it took me to be able to pose a happy jump, hoping to keep happiness still and printed in a yearbook that will last for decades.

but today, i see yellow again.

chesca's yellow nail polish, shobe's yellow marker/highlighter, and the nostalgic music of The Wonder Years. these are but little things that paved way to my happy neurons. welcome back happy neurons!

they hope for happy endings, i hope for a happy beginning that's never ending :)

there's typhoon named after me

sometimes you just have to go against the grain.

truth is
you love them.

of hope and hanging dreams

i was talking to a friend about dreams. This has always been a topic of interest, probably because it leaves a trail of bittersweet thought in the air. It never gets concluded but it always brings new light.

s: literature! 'yan yung course niya. Pinakita niya sa 'kin mga homeworks niya, at 'yung notebook niya puro poems! Nakasulat na nga siya ng play, eh.
k: wow... grabe buti pa sila. 'yung cousin ko naman, balak mag-aral ng fine arts. Sobrang artistic niya. These people are living our dream!
s: eventually, magagawa rin natin 'yan. let's just make sure we live long enough to reach "eventually".

It wasn't conclusive enough to define the path for our desires that are still left hanging, but then, it has given me a trace of hope. To tread along a trail of hope may not be as secured as walking on a definite path, but at least it gives me a glimpse of what i want to see beyond the vertex of my path.

surprise!

sometimes i'm caught in a rather useless thought of how life is able to come up with both wonderful and awful surprises.

1 some questions are never meant to be asked, because some are better left in the realm of unworded thoughts. the mere thought of it should have brought up a warning sign already, but none came up, or maybe i was just too careless about it. was it the revelation you needed, or has it just complicated things a little?

2 it's pleasant to see new faces, it's heartwarming to talk to different people. it is a small world, indeed, as you bump into different people who know the people you know. soon it will no longer be 6 degrees apart, but a mere 3 degrees apart. my world is getting smaller, as my understanding is getting broader. and i realized it's pleasant to find reason to smile from people you know, people you've just known, and people you've met long ago but just had this time to talk with each other.

3 To hear and know of such an idea --- it's a pleasant surprise, and yet an awful one too. Not that it's an idea that has to be entertained, but the timing of it all is just awful and off-full. i think it's rather too late.

useless as it is, i still find comfort in giving it a thought even if it does not conclude any of the arguments i have in mind.

I Keep Love Real

It’s never an easy game to stand strong and be firm with one’s conviction; much more to hold it up against the great majority that tries to pull it down the forgotten lane. With almost everybody saying it’s already passé, what great challenge it would be to fight for this almost slipping victory of love and chastity.

Last weekend, April 19-20, 2008 was an opportune time to relive and reawaken this battle, as 15 of us women met and talked of what real love is. Mrs. Anabelle Brown, the proponent of Developmental Advocacy for Women Volunteerism (DAWV Foundation Inc.) prompted this training seminar that was held in her farm in Tanay, Rizal. It challenged our wit and creativity as we shared our thoughts and ideas on what we believe in, and as we expressed our hope and optimism that little by little we could widen this circle of awareness to more youth. With a target of 5 million people in five years, everyone was just filled with enthusiasm, and more importantly with love, to really be able to put everyone’s heart to this cause.

It was a good affirmation to know that love will never lose someone to fight for it. One person is enough to keep the battle going, but with 15 women, and more people waiting to be awakened, then this battle will never meet its defeat, but just victory.

Be strong, be free. Keep love real.

(http://www.ikeeplovereal.com)

Love Life!

i have always thought i'm ready to face the end of my life, not out of despair or inability to struggle, but because I feel that it's bound to come, and that I'll have to be brave enough to face it. But it hit me, that unless i'm really at the point of facing death, i would never really know if i'm indeed ready. Last night i dreamt about death, and more importantly, of life. I dreamt my dad was nearing his last breath already, and at the brink of his death, i found out about my own. A doctor told me i have cancer, and that i have only a few more months to live. My mind was at a blank state at that point. i couldn't move my mind to think, and all i was able to do was stare and keep myself moving. I knew that ----

3/30/08

this was 5 days before my father has gone ahead.

good mourning

I have never mourned in my life, until my dad gave me a reason to do so. Being the unemotional person that i am, i didn't know how exactly to face such experiences, but even so, this heart knows after all, what it means to grieve.

Before my dad admitted himself to the hospital, he briefed us about his illness, and right then and there i understood what his condition implicated. He was so sure of his nearing death, but the slightest hope he got was enough for him to fight for life, enough for him to still hope for a better life. He went on with his days hoping, but at the same time preparing for his Meeting with the Lord. He prepared like a diligent student would prepare for an examination. He showed no sign of cramming, because the Good Lord has given him enough time to prepare for this; the whole of his lifetime and the few months left to review his final paper. I must say, indeed he was very blessed with the amount of time given to him.

And what about us he's left behind? We tried preparing with him as he was doing his own preparation. I have accepted everything and the fact that he was going to die soon, but even with much expectation and anticipation, death still comes like a sudden gust of the wind. Even with much acceptance of his fate, I still find myself hoping I'd wake up and realize this is just a bad dream, but then, every arrow points to reality, leaving me no choice but to accept everything as it is.

Had I known back then that this was bound to happen, would i have acted differently towards him? Sometimes i try to imagine, if during those times we spent together i already knew he was going to die this soon, what i would have done, and what i would have told him. I always had the notion he was going to die old, helping in rearing his grandchildren and already resting from a lifetime of work. But God had a better plan than the blueprint i had in mind.

It wasn't long before I got used to talking with him in my prayers. This made me feel that he's still very much alive, but in a different dimension; in a much better place. It was much easier now to come to him in times of struggle. I still find myself saying "Daddy o, si kuya..." of course, i don't hear him reprimanding him, but then his presence is enough to console me. I asked for his guidance as i was answering my NMAT (national medical admission test). I strongly felt his existence, and how he too couldn't answer the 2nd part of the test. And I assured him, he will never be forgotten, not ever in my life.

Like the sudden gust of the wind, death passes by quickly, but the world would never stop for whoever journeys on to the next life, not even for such a great life lived on earth. Life simply goes on, and whoever wishes to go with life, must keep up with its fast-paced movement. It's not that life leaves no time for mourning, but that mourning is but an expression of a much valued love, and of missing a person whom I won't be seeing after a long long while --- but that in life, it's actually possible to mourn while moving on with this nonchalant life.

good mourning, it is.

left behind

well it doesn't hurt to take a little pause once in a while. before coming to class, i thought of dropping by to my blog, and just see whatever there is to see. i saw my past entries and remembered how my past days/weeks went. and it felt weird to see my very last entry about that strange condition. so much has happened between then and now, and all the thoughts, emotions and feelings along with that poem rushed back and made me stare blankly on the screen for a couple of seconds. and then i snapped back and realized i've gotten past that. the now has been totally different from then and the next will be even more different.

it feels like my life's moving at a fast-paced rate, and it doesn't feel like i'm catching up pretty well. once in a while i catch my breath trying to say, "slow down," but then it moves on... moves on as if i didn't say anything. now i'm moving on my own pace, seeing my life get ahead of me, waiting until the time comes it realizes it needs me, waiting for it to look back and see what it's left behind.

2007

:) it's been a crazy year, Lord. I could never forget the journey that I had with You. I remember how i welcomed this year with no expectations and no thoughts about the future. I spent the New Year's Eve of 2007 watching the beautiful fireworks in the sky, cherishing the happy moments with my family, and without a thought beyond what's gonna happen the day after. I didn't even think about the coming days when the classes would resume and I'd be back on my academic mode. As each day unfolded, You opened my eyes to a world that's new, You helped me open my arms so I could embrace this whole new life. This year, You showed me a world that's different from the world I've grown to know. It is a whole new world in a kaleidoscope of reality.

Is it a world so much better? Yes. It is a new reality where everything is grounded on Love. To see the world with so much Love, and to live in this world giving love beyond one's capacity.

In all the aspects of my life, You've tested my capacity to give and to love. As I spent sleepless months last semester, faced with failing exams I could hardly accept, You have taught me perseverance and humility. That in any endeavor I wish to pursue, no matter how good it is in itself, it is never worth pursuing if it's not to give You true glory.

As our family went through, and is still going through, our greatest tribulation, You have taught us abandonment and greater faith, that indeed, omnia in bonum, everything for the good. Out of a seemingly unfortunate situation, You've turned it to be a life worth more than just precious stones.

You allowed me to have real friendships with people I knew long before, but had only this chance to know them as really wonderful people. You blessed me with such good people to make me realize that one of life's treasures are hidden among these kinds of people.

You gave me a life so much different from the life I lived, as You allowed me to walk with that one person --- a life not any sweeter, but so much worth living, as we ventured on a path that made us see in each other's perspective. The love that we try to keep in our happy thought box, uncontrollably radiates to the people we love most, and in our everyday dealings which we humbly offer to You.

As the hours slowly close on the year that was, and as I slowly welcome the new year ahead, I look forward to a new journey with You. I look forward to a life that wills to pursue that greater Life, a life to fulfill Your greater plan.

And that all You're asking of us is to simply love, and to love simply.

sa kabila.

Kulturang sabungan. Bahagi na nga talaga sa kultura natin ang sabungan, kung saan pinaglalaban ang dalawang manok, pinagpupustahan at nagiging dahilan pa ng ilang hidwaan. Ilang manok na ang pilit na pinaglalaban, binubuhay nang paulit-ulit hangga't kaya pang ipaglaban ang mga ito. May ilang umabot na ng ilang dekada at hanggang ngayon ay pilit pa ring pinaglalaban.

Ikinatutuwa natin ang mga labanang ito. Ikinatutuwa natin kapag nananalo ang manok natin, at umuuwing luhaan ang mga nasa kabila. Ang simpleng labanan na nagmumula sa munting katuwaan lang, pinagmumulan na ng matinding away. Matindi ang labanan ng mga manok na ito, matindi pa sa labanan ng oposisyon at gobyerno. Dahil sa mga labanang ito, bibihira kang makakita ng mga balimbing. Dahil sa mga labanang ito, hindi mo madaling mabibili ang paninindigan ng mga lumalaban.

Sa labanang agila vs. indiyan pana, kanino ka kakampi? asul o berde? katipunan o taft? Kahit ang mga taong walang koneksyon sa kahit anong panig, pumapanig na rin at nakikisama sa paghiyaw ng "Win or Lose! it's the school we choose!" o 'di kaya sa sigaw na "animo!"

Kapuso ka ba o kapamilya? Ka-Q o kabarkada?

Mahilig nga talaga tayo sa sabong. kanino ka, Christine Reyes o Carlene? 0_O

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nagkaroon kami ng kaibigan ko ng isang magandang usapan. pumasok ang usaping kapuso. (haha kapuso kasi ako). at ang tatay niya ay isang tunay na kapuso at nagtatrabaho doon. kung kaya't natanong ko:

ako: so 'yung serbisyong totoo, totoo ba talaga?
marti: oo. pati 'yung wish ko lang, wish ko lang 'yun.
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