Today's Post

31 March 2007

100th. :)

In my 100th entry, i wish to share the talk that the priest, Fr. Ted Santiago, gave a while ago.

Tomorrow will be the start of the most Holy week throughout the year. And tomorrow as your knees shake and tremble, listening to the very long gospel, I'd like you to consider two statements: "Hail the King of Jerusalem!" and "Crucify him!". Two contrasting statements spoken by the same crowd for the same person. In the passion of Christ, we see a lot of contrasting ideas, like when the crowd laid down clothing for Jesus to step on, they were the same crowd who stripped His clothing off for crucifixion. The crowd welcomed Him to Jerusalem, but had Him crucified after 5 days.

See how fickleminded they were, how they changed their minds in a matter of 5 days. Most of the time we become like the crowd, being fickleminded and inconsistent. How we've prayed so hard during the finals week, and become lax again with our spiritual life come this summer. How we fail to fulfill our resolutions because of our little excuses, most of the time giving in to our love for comfort.

As you listen to the gospel, there may be times when you feel outraged because of certain characters in the story. But reflecting on how they behaved, we can sometimes see ourselves in them. As mentioned, we are like the crowd because of our inconsistencies. Aside from that, we are like Pilate, having no strong conviction of our own, just letting the crowd sway us to wherever they lead us. We are like Judas, who was blinded by 30 pieces of silver when we give in to our own temptations, be it big or little. We are like Peter when we deny His existence and resolve to our own capacity. We are like the rest of the apostles when we lose faith in Him, mostly when we give in to our fears and imaginations. We are like the Pharisees when we claim we follow His way, but fail to see Him in other people, mostly in the people we dislike, or the people who annoy us. If we examine our daily behavior, one way or another, we become like one of them. and yet we continue to be such, thinking we are apart from how they acted, thinking we know better. And while we do know better because presented before us is the established Truth, they, in the middle of confusion because of certain paradigm shifts they had to do, we see ourselves acting no different from how they acted.

From the same story, we could find other characters from whom we find inspiration. The people who we could hopefully emulate not just for the Holy Week, but for the whole of our life. We draw inspiration from Simeon of Cyrene, as we unite our own sacrifices with the Holy Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. From Mary Magdalene, as we repent from our own sinfulness. From one of the thief, who believed and trusted. From our Lady, who was not around during the great miracles of Christ, except the one at the wedding feast in cana, but was with Jesus all throughout His suffering and humiliation. Mary who, after the apostles left and hid, stayed with Christ at the foot of the Cross.

He is the King who was crowned with thorns, and had the crucifix as His throne. All these He accepted with such great humility. And yet we, receiving so little suffering compared to His, refuse them as if we were of royalties to be served.

But more than just looking back at the account of our Lord's passion and death, is for us to reflect on our own relationship with Him. How much have we included Him in our lives? How much have we reflected His existence to other people? and more importantly, how much have we loved in His name?

We may reflect and reflect for all we want. Refuse all the comfort in the world during this Holy week as much as we want to, but all these can be outdone by that one act of love we share to people --- an act of love that holds no other meaning but pure Love.

30 March 2007

99 Red Balloons

i shall miss you :)

welcome, summer! :) i missed you a lot. so what do you have for me? huh? summer classes? you have got to be kidding me! i just finished printing the last page of my last requirement for this semester! and you tell me i'm off to my summer classes? wow. you give me two weeks of vacation before summer classes, and 2 more weeks after? hmm. okay. i guess that will do. just promise to make it the longest weeks of my life. let the minutes pass as slow as possible. 1 month of rest for the 5 months of stress and no sleep and what-have-you. (had i known i will no longer sleep at this point of my life, i would have slept during my nap time when i was a kid; when my mom used to coerce me to sleep. gee.) these summer classes have got to be the fun classes you promised me. :| Fil40? err. doesn't sound fun. PI 100? oh great. How do we make it a summer we'll never forget? we study. :D okay let's just drop the act.

why not make this summer be more for the others, and less for ourselves? It's time to keep up with the people we lost contact with over the stressful schooldays. You might want to greet your brother a belated happy birthday for his birthday that has passed by without you giving it much importance. it's never too late for that Happy Birthday Hug! or you might want to say Hi now to your parents whom you've ignored for the past months and only got to talk with when you get your allowance. "Hi parents! it's summer! can i please still have allowance over the break?" haha yeah. tight-pocket-days. Or you might want to look for beneficiaries of your overflowing savings over the past months (*raises hand* pick me! pick me!)

But if you have so much time this summer, why not spend it with kids! teach them good time management, or the importance of sleep and rest. teach them how to write a research paper. teach them bio. teach them survival101 for month-long stress. haha the things you learned over your stressful days. but really, why not join an organization that allows you to teach kids, or just to spend time with them. Kythe could be one - an organization that visits children confined in the hospital. they play, read stories, or just simply be with them. Or you may try visiting any orphanage, home for the aged, or my house so we could clean up my room. haha!

seriously. to think more of the others and less of ourselves? no need to think beyond the people at home. It could be your mom, or your helpers, whom you can spare from work this summer. why not start with your own nook. clean up the piles and piles of readings you never attempted to read, your written report and research papers you crammed the night before, your exam papers you thankfully passed, and your tons and tons of doodle papers for the neverending boredom you had during the semester. And for the months you've put up a grumpyface, why not smile to the kid who's been pestering you over the sem with the ponytail/sampaguita she's selling? why not strike a conversation with a stranger asking for help?

let the world know you still exist by being useful this summer. don't let rest steal the perfect moments of your life. let rest be the reason to make this summer worthwhile. rest while you make others happy. this way, your mind is rested, your heart is kept alive, and your soul is one step higher to happiness.

*it's my 99th blog entry*

18 March 2007

to do:

[x] hickman: homeostasis
[x] hickman: circulatory
[x] hickman: immunity
[x] hickman: endocrine
[x] hickman: nervous
[x] campbell: chapter 42
[x] campbell: chapter 43
[x] campbell: chapter 44
[x] campbell: chapter 45
[x] campbell: chapter 48
[x] campbell: chapter 49

[x] lab: homework
[x] Lab: powerpoint
[x] lab: plates
[x] lab: zoo book
[x] lab: manual
[x] lab: outline

[x] 115: 13 participants
[x] 115: paper - draft
[X] 115: final paper -- isa na lang! (3-30-07)
[x] 115: ppt for defense
[x] 115: reflection paper
[x] STS: group paper

i can do all these through Him who strengthens me.

edit: ang saya mag "x"

edit uli: bakit parang hindi nadadagdagan 'yung nalalagyan ng x, pero dumadagdag 'yung gagawin. hmm.

***itching to put an "x" mark on the last box.***

17 March 2007

Lenten Message

I haven't given the lenten season much thought. Academics have been wallowing up my thoughts to the point that i couldn't get a decent nap. I wake up every 2 minutes just to check my watch if it's time for me to get back to work.

The other night, i just had a nightmare on one of my major classes. good thing it wasn't bio11. i just can't imagine all the toads i killed chasing after me, or worse, doing their own study of science on human specimen, me as their specimen. so the nightmare was on my psych115 class. Nothing scary about the dream... just the fact that it's about 115 urged me to wake up right away. Nightmare? yeah. 'cause i couldn't get myself to wake up. i couldn't move. all i remember saying in my dream was "freak. it's 115." and i see a list of names, probably our sign-up sheet with the fake names we wrote. finally, i got myself to wake up. i looked at the clock, and saw that it was only an hour after i closed my eyes to sleep. *sigh* i got an hour of sleep but had a nightmare as well. :| (please mr.sandman, can i have just one muffin dream, too?)

amidst the traffic of different thoughts on my mind, i managed to pause for a while and put my mind solely on Him. "Hi God, i'm so tired from all these academic stress. Monday to Friday of this week was so monotonous, day-in day-out, i get up in the morning, rush for class, get so sleepy in my class that i'm only able to understand the last 15 minutes of the class, run to my next class, or sleep during my break, then classes end, and so we start our experiment. The only real rest i get is when i'm about to hear Your word during the mass. but after which, i will have to braise myself up to that tiresome trip going home."

Yes, i've been full of rants these days. i couldn't get myself to shut up and just embrace willingly one sacrifice for the day. It's just ironic that this lenten season, i've been full of myself. i haven't done much self-denial for the past weeks. and while i should be practicing even more the virtue of humility, i let myself succumb to that bitter aftertaste of pride. (to my groupmate: right from the start, i know you know how much i don't like the way you work. but even then, i know i could have chosen not to stress and pressure you this much. i'm sorry.)

i know that every single rant that i have is of my own fault. the root of it all is my giving in to that love of comfort. everything is pushed aside just so i could "rest" for a while, until i need to dive in the piled stress that i could have worked on one at a time. in short, if only i had better time management.

so for this lenten season, and for the last weeks remaining, i thought of a sacrifice well-suited for me. time management. the sacrifice is not so much on having sleepless nights, but starting on time and ending on time. that struggle to fight the first battle of waking up on time, and wasting not a single second on useless thoughts. no more "wait, 5 minutes pa." no more snooze. right on the dot, it has to be, "Good morning, Lord!" with a sleepy smiling face. :)

and for the rest of my daily annoying things, the best thing to do is to smile it off, and just continue being happy. afterall, lenten season doesn't have to be that gloomy purple we're all used to. It's about being happy for the sacrifices we're doing in union with His sacrifices. It's no use to deny yourself of all the comfort in the world, and yet you do it out of ritual/tradition. every sacrifice you make has to be done out of love, your love for Him, and for Him alone.

Lent is also a season of sharing and giving. so this lent, why not share a hand and make at least 5 people happy :) the more the merrier!

count up starts now! Happy sharing! :)

14 March 2007

Zzzz...

12 March 2007

ice cream day.

it was a tiring day. MTh is usually just my bio day, but this day was more than just a bio day. okay, so here's the bio part. we dissected a live toad. :|

"croak. kokak. kroak. cokac. kroack. crack. crap. kokak." - mr.toad
translation: "you don't know how it feels to wake up from sedation and you see people skinning you, cutting your abdominal muscles, tickling your heart and liver, accidentally popping your lungs, and twisting your limbs just to get you pinned down, all for the name of science!? cut that crap! kokak." - mr.toad
geez. sorry mr.toad. i would have been more willing to pith you, double-pith, even, just so to end your torments, but the professor wanted you alive while going through the process. poor toad. he was so small and skinny! he had a really small heart that pumped as hard as it could just so to make it through. was he hoping to get his muscles back, or his skin, even? was he squirming because it hurt? or was he squirming because he feels naked? questions i won't ever find the right answers to. shux. sorry mr. toad, we were only taught how to dissect but not to make a surgery, complete with stitches and all.

after that we had our psych experiment. *sigh* i couldn't elaborate it more than a tired sigh.

after what i thought was the end of my tiring day, my dad called and said he could fetch me. yey. spared from that get on-and-off bumpy ride (a.k.a. jeepney fares) oh but he had me help him with the files he wanted to get photocopied in the shopping center. i could not understand a thing from the papers i was handling. they were all terms and numbers. the only thing i could understand were the dates. tsk tsk. i would never want to handle BIR papers in my life. a total of 3-inch thick photocopies. ack. (no wonder we're losing our trees!)

and since i was physically and mentally exhausted at that point, to complete the stressful day, i had to experience a little of emotional stress to top the day with that awful cherry. if i remember it right, i wrote in one of my recent entries that i'm on a break from any unnecessary thinking. yeah. i'm on-leave. i guess they forgot. just so you know, in case you read this, (no not you, the other one. yeah, you. - sige kayong dalawa) it may always seem i'm being indifferent from everything that's happening... but i see no other way to help you but be like this. so it's not entirely about being indifferent, but caring in a way you might not understand right now --- but i'm hoping you will someday. until that happens, i'll be keeping you in my prayers.

but of course, it was a day for the Lord. the exhaustion and stress, they're all offered for special intentions. which makes this day an even more blessed one, because i had more opportunities to offer up my intentions.

yes it was an awful cherry, and probably on the wrong cone,too, but it was such a sweet vanilla in between. amidst the tiring day were several moments i could add to my happy thoughts. :) i saw my brother today. i might have looked stupid shouting "kuya!" from the third floor, not even mentioning his name, and yet he looked and knew he was the kuya being called. as soon as he saw me, i ran my way to him just to say hello. he was with a common friend (hi kenneth!) and caught them in the middle of their so-called debate.

herbert: karen, hindi raw tayo magkamukha.
karen: ha? magkamukha kaya kami. twins kami niyan, eh.
herbert: magkamukha kami 'pag nakaganto kami. *nagpalaki ng mata*
karen: oo magkamukha kami 'pag naka "gulat-look" kami.

the perks of my brother. haay. when the time comes that i really really really miss you, i'm gonna get my camera from you, borrow your laptop the next day, give you my camera the next day, then borrow laptop again the next day, then the camera the next day, laptop, camera, laptop, camera, laptop, camera... and so on... yeah. every excuse i could get just to see you. *elk* (hahaha i hope you don't get to read this! you're not supposed to be reading my blog, anyway! hah! but then again, if you are, then you must be missing me that much, too :P)

it was sweet enough to have that moment, but i just had to have that green tea-flavored ice cream (fic) beneath the vanilla scoop. before the mass started, i got to chat with two of the many kids selling sampaguita and panali around the up church area. it was embarassing for me to find out that the other one was a girl, too. all along i thought she was a he! until i heard her say her name - joy ann. such sweet kids. i have high hopes for them. they're still studying and are selling those stuff just so they have allowance for the next day. imagine to be working for your daily allowance and only get to buy inadequate food when you get to school. tsk tsk. oh! and it was even heartwarming to know that the other girl would once in a while go to confession to fr. jboy. we could really learn a lot from these kids. (they told me they were being banned from staying around the church and selling sampaguita. the SSB, super security ng bayan / social security brigade, would scold them off if they're caught selling to people. i don't think that's the right thing to do. :| - anyway this should be on another entry)

the white chocolate chip scattered on top of the ice cream really made a good finishing. And the day officially became a day to remember with the rest of the good and happy moments that happened today. thank you for the good people who cared enough to listen. who made little effort but was able to shift my mood from annoyed/tired to "hahaha-that-was-funny-mood". just a teaspoon of good laughs and a cup of "hey, i'm here" was all my exhaustion needed for it to disappear.

-----------------------

happiness is hidden in the most unexpected places you go to, and with the most unexpected people you meet.

11 March 2007

ipis love

cockroaches have a thread-like heart.

it's such a pity to love if you have a heart of a roach.


thank you. :)




09 March 2007

comic strip no.3

Calvin and HobbesBy Bill Watterson

08 March 2007

specimen.

i have serious fear of cockroaches, especially if they're the "fleepis" ones. they're mean! small as they are, they'd attack you, crawl over your foot, stick to your clothes and fly around so as to scare you. and yeah they're even game for staring games.

it doesn't seem rational to be so scared of those pests, after all with a spray or two, they're dead.. or with the *whappak* of your slippers they're crunched to death. but still, i grew up with that fear. our helpers used to lock me in the kitchen and hold cockroaches by the antenna to put so close to my face. i don't know why they're fond of doing that... as far as i remember i was the good kid that never broke a glass *innocent face* haha yeah. fine, i was a bit naughty. but hey, they had no right to inflict phobias like that on kids! especially on me! haha. it was a learned helplessness. whenever i see one, i'd freeze for a long time, and quietly cry. if there's a dead one around, i'd get the feeling it's crawling up my legs. :| and when i can't take it anymore, i'd call my mom or my dad, or my brother to kill it for me. i would always imagine it flying towards me that's why i ask someone to kill it for me.

BUT! today was such a significant day. ipis are still ipis. i still avoid them. but now, they're just another specimen. haha! i dissected 2 ipis today. seen upclose, i still couldn't find it in my heart to adore them, or to at least appreciate them. :| oh those hairy legs. gooey body fluids. my specimen had a lot of eggs in her! wah. and it's no wonder that even if every human being had a roach-killer spray to kill every ipis, they will never reach extinction.

ipis ka ba? hah! you're just another specimen.

woopiedooped.

07 March 2007

comic strip no.2

Calvin and HobbesBy Bill Watterson

05 March 2007

comic strip no.1

Calvin and Hobbesby Bill Watterson

to do:

haha. i forgot the house key in my room, and no one was home.. so i had to wait for a while until i got really bored, and impatient that i had to force-open the window. yeah i looked like a burglar. my neighbors saw me. i just hope no potential burglars saw what i just did.

i'm a burglar in my own home.

moving on. first things first.

[x] cwts scan files
[x] cwts paper
[-] art studies research
[-] art studies review (recitation)
[x] preparation for 115

woopie.

04 March 2007

roadtrip!

no bio lab tomorrow! that means i have nothing to be guilty about the roadtrip i had today... haha. thanks to the people that made it possible. (pia, adz, brenda and kyle.)

tara?
wait.
tara!
tara?
oo tara!
wait.
yey!
let's go!
off we go!


that's how our roadtrip went. haha.

of course there were annoying but funny things that happened in between.. and a lot of fun-yey-woopie-moments throughout the trip. haha. i know it doesn't make sense, but that'll do. :P

woopiedoo!

Happy Birthday!

teka, sino ba may birthday? hmm. wala pala akong kilala na may birthday ngayon. sayang.

i just feel like greeting someone a happy birthday. don't you get that feeling? it's a giddy feeling that you just want to shout at the person a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! yeah well maybe it's just me. i can feel my quirky blood flowing through my veins. woah. it's getting to the aorta, now to the ventricles. okay so mali yung flow ng blood ko. bakit ba? i'll get it fixed as soon as i'm able to understand my bio lessons well. as of now, let it flow the way i think it's flowing. haha. tricuspids, bicuspids. yeah i just know the terms.

ANYWAY! is it your birthday today? no? well... might as well have a happy day!

woopiedoo!

03 March 2007

smile like i mean it.

finally! a new home. my last template gets pretty gloomy that i find it hard to post some things that don't really mean anything but just nonsensical stuff --- like as if everything has to have depth. haha anyway. my new home! i'd probably give it 5 months before i get bored with it again, or maybe a few weeks from now when i need a little drama in my life again. but for now, no drama please. im just here to sit back, relax, and... panic!

yahooey! there's so much to panic for. haha! for the first weeks of my second sem, i just know i got it going good. i was running ahead of time and now, i'm just so behind the schedule. haha but hey! everything's going fine - at least for now. and since a few weeks from now, classes will be over, hello to 2 weeks of vacation, and then hello to summer classes, i thought of making a resolution.. and that is to never allow myself to get bored over anything. haha i'm gonna have fun fun fun! haha laugh my heart out! and smile like i mean it.

woopiedoo! roadtrip, anyone?!

02 March 2007

i've been meaning to change my template