i had nothing to fear
for You were there.
Iloilo
22 hours ago
Today's Post
31 October 2006
26 October 2006
17 October 2006
he gave me a pat
He was running around the church as i was seated on the floor, patiently waiting for my turn in the confessional. I've seen him before. he was with his mom at that time just as he was a while ago. he has not failed to make me smile just as he did when i first saw him weeks ago. i followed him with my eyes and then he caught me smiling at him. *hihi* he stopped before me and held his hand out, gave me a pat on the shoulder as a nice big smile shaped on his face. i held his hand, said hello, then he smiled back again and went back to running around.
the scenario played back in my mind and wanted to freeze it the moment he smiled and gave me a pat. i wondered, what could have been on his mind for him to do that. his face so innocent that seemed to be troubled with no worries -- i can't be mistaken, he is one blessed and loved child. i see in his eyes and in his smile how much God embraces him every night, and how much he is lulled to sleep by his guardian angel. I see in his mother how much she is strengthened by the Holy Spirit, and how much Our Lady keeps them in her prayers. This woman is blessed with a son with down syndrome --- a child that as if knows nothing but to love.
the scenario played back in my mind and wanted to freeze it the moment he smiled and gave me a pat. i wondered, what could have been on his mind for him to do that. his face so innocent that seemed to be troubled with no worries -- i can't be mistaken, he is one blessed and loved child. i see in his eyes and in his smile how much God embraces him every night, and how much he is lulled to sleep by his guardian angel. I see in his mother how much she is strengthened by the Holy Spirit, and how much Our Lady keeps them in her prayers. This woman is blessed with a son with down syndrome --- a child that as if knows nothing but to love.
carry on!
to stand up amidst the crowd that goes on along their way, of which nothing is going in the same direction as yours -- can you withstand it? Will you carry on to the path the light has shown you? or will you simply blind yourself and pretend you don't see the light, pretend you don't hear Him calling you, and just go with the flow of the crowd? "wow!" you say to yourself, "at least i don't have to pressure myself on one direction, because with the crowd, i can choose from so many ways to conquer."
you can have your way -- an ownership of your path. And because you feel so much in control of your life this way, you forget altogether the light you saw, and just carry on with the path you chose for yourself. carry on lad! go on as far as you can with your chosen path. carry on with your compromises of making things still in accordance to Him, when you know you are fooling no one but yourself, because the path you took is not even parallel to the one He shows you. and in a few minutes time, i shall ask you: "are you happy?" if you are, then why do you still have those moments of silence? why do you seem to look back and think how it could have been had you followed Him? why do you seem to look for answers along your way, when deep down you know you will never find them where you're walking at the moment? Could it be that you're searching at the wrong place? could it be that you're looking for the wrong happiness -- that which isn't happiness at all, but a mere distorted reflection of that one true happiness?
Don't go so far dear child, for you haven't totally lost your way. It is Him still calling you that you feel uncomfortable with the path you walk upon. It is Him reaching for your hand that you feel a sense of imbalance as you walk on your chosen road. Reach for Him and you will find rest, reach for Him and you will find the answers you are looking for. And i tell you, you will never be confounded as you see Him, as you let Him embrace you with His love, as you let Him enter your life. He's been knocking at your door, but what has kept you from opening it for Him, when He has never delayed a single second to open His doors for you everytime you knock. Open your doors and you will never find a reason to close on Him again. Go on with your search for Him, He's been waiting for you. It wouldn't matter to Him which roads you took before you got to Him, what matters is you found your way to Him again. And when that moment comes, whatever struggle you partake in is just a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that completes the picture of that one true happiness with Him.
you can have your way -- an ownership of your path. And because you feel so much in control of your life this way, you forget altogether the light you saw, and just carry on with the path you chose for yourself. carry on lad! go on as far as you can with your chosen path. carry on with your compromises of making things still in accordance to Him, when you know you are fooling no one but yourself, because the path you took is not even parallel to the one He shows you. and in a few minutes time, i shall ask you: "are you happy?" if you are, then why do you still have those moments of silence? why do you seem to look back and think how it could have been had you followed Him? why do you seem to look for answers along your way, when deep down you know you will never find them where you're walking at the moment? Could it be that you're searching at the wrong place? could it be that you're looking for the wrong happiness -- that which isn't happiness at all, but a mere distorted reflection of that one true happiness?
Don't go so far dear child, for you haven't totally lost your way. It is Him still calling you that you feel uncomfortable with the path you walk upon. It is Him reaching for your hand that you feel a sense of imbalance as you walk on your chosen road. Reach for Him and you will find rest, reach for Him and you will find the answers you are looking for. And i tell you, you will never be confounded as you see Him, as you let Him embrace you with His love, as you let Him enter your life. He's been knocking at your door, but what has kept you from opening it for Him, when He has never delayed a single second to open His doors for you everytime you knock. Open your doors and you will never find a reason to close on Him again. Go on with your search for Him, He's been waiting for you. It wouldn't matter to Him which roads you took before you got to Him, what matters is you found your way to Him again. And when that moment comes, whatever struggle you partake in is just a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that completes the picture of that one true happiness with Him.
12 October 2006
no more hiding
There's been too much of hiding
when there's really nowhere to hide.
you live where there's so much crying and pain
and you cannot simply avoid them
because you live with them.
you are bound to stand amidst the crowd
but you cannot just stand there.
you have to walk fast...
against the current if you must.
you ask, where you have to go?
why are you asking?
you already know
you just have to get your feet walking.
don't close your eyes
face them with much certainty and courage
for now nothing else matters
but your fulfillment of that one true will
-- that which you can't even call yours
but have to accept with much ownership.
there's no other way but forward
if you must retreat,
it'll be because you need strength to move on
but never to abandon that journey* you started.
there's no time for playing
for the journey awaits you
to unfold every pain and bliss it has stored for you.
walk! and bring yourself to smile
for there's so much life and happiness before you
you won't see them with that uncertainty...
when there's really nowhere to hide.
you live where there's so much crying and pain
and you cannot simply avoid them
because you live with them.
you are bound to stand amidst the crowd
but you cannot just stand there.
you have to walk fast...
against the current if you must.
you ask, where you have to go?
why are you asking?
you already know
you just have to get your feet walking.
don't close your eyes
face them with much certainty and courage
for now nothing else matters
but your fulfillment of that one true will
-- that which you can't even call yours
but have to accept with much ownership.
there's no other way but forward
if you must retreat,
it'll be because you need strength to move on
but never to abandon that journey* you started.
there's no time for playing
for the journey awaits you
to unfold every pain and bliss it has stored for you.
walk! and bring yourself to smile
for there's so much life and happiness before you
you won't see them with that uncertainty...
05 October 2006
ayan na! ayan na!
biliiiiis!!! late na 'ko! late na 'ko! late na 'koooooooooo! naku, naku! Oh Lord, ayan naaaa! malapit naaaaaaaaa mahuhulooooog na 'koooooooooooo --- at ayun. nadapa na nga ako. best moment of my life, eh!
CWTS kahapon. 2 oras lang ang tulog ko para sa status report sa CWTS. 9am ang class pero dapat 8am nasa UP na 'ko kasi magpaparingbind pa 'ko ng report (bakit? kasi kelangan). Nagising ako ng 7:30am at naalalang may kelangan pa 'ko iedit sa report. ayun 9am ako umalis ng bahay. traffic sa commonwealth dahil may bumaliktad na trak sa may tandang sora. tingnan mo nga naman ang pagkakataon. sa lahat ng araw na pwedeng matraffic, ngayon pa. kaya dumaan ang taxi ko sa may marikina at dinayo rin ang traffic dun. pero mas okay na dun kesa sa commonwealth na literal na hindi gumagalaw. 9:45 na at nasa may balara na 'ko. malapit na ang U.P! natatanaw ko na! ang kaso traffic din dun. nakarating na'ko sa shopping center, nagparingbind at kumaripas sa mabilis na paglalakad. papunta sa klase, dumadaan ako sa daan na kakaunti lang ang tao. Perfect venue na sana para madapa kasi walang taong dumadaan nun, maliban kay manang guard at sa tagawalis na nasa harap ng sun dial na malaki sa likod ng Engg. aba! akalain mong nadapa ako sa harap nila mismo. moment na moment eh! b u m a g a l --- a n g --- g a l a w -- n g -- o r a s -- k o -- n a -- p a r a -- b a n g -- n a s a -- s l o w -- m o t i o n -- a n g -- l a h a t. nahulog na 'ko at nasabing: "n a k u p o -- m a n a a a n g -- s o o o o r r y ! " aba eh nagsorry pa 'ko. kasi nahulugan ko yung mga halaman at bato sa sidewalk. nagmadali akong tumayo dahil 'yung status report namin baka nasira. habang patayo, tinanong ako ni manang guard: "o, bakit ka nadapa?" hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko dahil hindi ko rin alam kung ano talaga ang inaasahan niyang isagot ko sa tanong niya:
marahil:
a. hindi naman po ako nadapa. guni-guni niyo lang 'yon.
b. nadapa? sino? sinong nadapa? tulungan natin!
c. pa-cute lang po manang.
d. practice ko lang po 'yon sa play. o diba, performance level!!
pero wala sa mga 'yun ang sinagot ko. sabi ko na lang, "nagmamadali po ako kasi late na 'ko. sige po!" at tumakbo uli habang tumatawa.
sa kasalukuyan, pag naaalala ko ang detalye ng pangyayari, isa lang ang nasasabi ko sa aking sarili: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
tawanan mo na lang! :P
CWTS kahapon. 2 oras lang ang tulog ko para sa status report sa CWTS. 9am ang class pero dapat 8am nasa UP na 'ko kasi magpaparingbind pa 'ko ng report (bakit? kasi kelangan). Nagising ako ng 7:30am at naalalang may kelangan pa 'ko iedit sa report. ayun 9am ako umalis ng bahay. traffic sa commonwealth dahil may bumaliktad na trak sa may tandang sora. tingnan mo nga naman ang pagkakataon. sa lahat ng araw na pwedeng matraffic, ngayon pa. kaya dumaan ang taxi ko sa may marikina at dinayo rin ang traffic dun. pero mas okay na dun kesa sa commonwealth na literal na hindi gumagalaw. 9:45 na at nasa may balara na 'ko. malapit na ang U.P! natatanaw ko na! ang kaso traffic din dun. nakarating na'ko sa shopping center, nagparingbind at kumaripas sa mabilis na paglalakad. papunta sa klase, dumadaan ako sa daan na kakaunti lang ang tao. Perfect venue na sana para madapa kasi walang taong dumadaan nun, maliban kay manang guard at sa tagawalis na nasa harap ng sun dial na malaki sa likod ng Engg. aba! akalain mong nadapa ako sa harap nila mismo. moment na moment eh! b u m a g a l --- a n g --- g a l a w -- n g -- o r a s -- k o -- n a -- p a r a -- b a n g -- n a s a -- s l o w -- m o t i o n -- a n g -- l a h a t. nahulog na 'ko at nasabing: "n a k u p o -- m a n a a a n g -- s o o o o r r y ! " aba eh nagsorry pa 'ko. kasi nahulugan ko yung mga halaman at bato sa sidewalk. nagmadali akong tumayo dahil 'yung status report namin baka nasira. habang patayo, tinanong ako ni manang guard: "o, bakit ka nadapa?" hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko dahil hindi ko rin alam kung ano talaga ang inaasahan niyang isagot ko sa tanong niya:
marahil:
a. hindi naman po ako nadapa. guni-guni niyo lang 'yon.
b. nadapa? sino? sinong nadapa? tulungan natin!
c. pa-cute lang po manang.
d. practice ko lang po 'yon sa play. o diba, performance level!!
pero wala sa mga 'yun ang sinagot ko. sabi ko na lang, "nagmamadali po ako kasi late na 'ko. sige po!" at tumakbo uli habang tumatawa.
sa kasalukuyan, pag naaalala ko ang detalye ng pangyayari, isa lang ang nasasabi ko sa aking sarili: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
tawanan mo na lang! :P
02 October 2006
01 October 2006
dun lang *turo ng nguso* dun o.
"sa'n ka ba pupunta?"
Minsang natanong ko ito sa aking sarili. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad, natulala nang tatlong segundo at napalingon sa dinaanan. Naisip ko, ang layo na pala ng nalakad ko. At nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad nang hindi namamalayang hindi ko nasagot ang aking tanong. Nagpatuloy sa paglalakad habang ang isip ay nasa ibang baybayin ng planeta. Naisip ko, ano kayang magandang gawin habang hindi pa ako nakakarating sa pinaroroonan. At bigla akong napatigil muli. Naalala ko lang ang nauna kong tanong sa sarili. Saan nga ba ako pupunta? Hindi ko na nakuhang mailayo ang aking isip sa katanungan. Napaupo na lang ako at napaisip. Saan nga ba ako papunta?
napaupo ako na parang pumupupu sa daan. mga kamay na nakasalumbaba, nag-iisip saan tutungo. at napansin kung gaano ako lalong lumiit kumpara sa mga taong nagdadaanan sa tabi ko. at bigla na lang... ah! alam ko na! punta na lang ako sa school.
ayun lang. edi nagtungo na nga ako ng school. --- o 'wag mo na isipan ng malalim na eksplanasyon 'yung entry. kasi wala naman talaga. kababawan. ui pero hindi 'yan nangyari talaga ah! hindi talaga! promise!!! hindiiiiii. promise. maniwala ka! (hindi naman tunog defensive diba?)
Minsang natanong ko ito sa aking sarili. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad, natulala nang tatlong segundo at napalingon sa dinaanan. Naisip ko, ang layo na pala ng nalakad ko. At nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad nang hindi namamalayang hindi ko nasagot ang aking tanong. Nagpatuloy sa paglalakad habang ang isip ay nasa ibang baybayin ng planeta. Naisip ko, ano kayang magandang gawin habang hindi pa ako nakakarating sa pinaroroonan. At bigla akong napatigil muli. Naalala ko lang ang nauna kong tanong sa sarili. Saan nga ba ako pupunta? Hindi ko na nakuhang mailayo ang aking isip sa katanungan. Napaupo na lang ako at napaisip. Saan nga ba ako papunta?
napaupo ako na parang pumupupu sa daan. mga kamay na nakasalumbaba, nag-iisip saan tutungo. at napansin kung gaano ako lalong lumiit kumpara sa mga taong nagdadaanan sa tabi ko. at bigla na lang... ah! alam ko na! punta na lang ako sa school.
ayun lang. edi nagtungo na nga ako ng school. --- o 'wag mo na isipan ng malalim na eksplanasyon 'yung entry. kasi wala naman talaga. kababawan. ui pero hindi 'yan nangyari talaga ah! hindi talaga! promise!!! hindiiiiii. promise. maniwala ka! (hindi naman tunog defensive diba?)
