guiding memories

Hi dad. How are you? I wonder what crazy antics you've been doing there. Have you tried cooking your favorite food? Have you tried cooking an artichoke just as you learned from cooking shows?

Well, life here's pretty much the same. only everyday that i wake up, i realize life gets harder and harder, yet it gets more fulfilling to live. There's probably no need to tell you what's been going on here, but there's this satisfaction of being able to share these things with you, hoping i could really tell these things before you.

We have a new dog! Tobi's his name (from toblerone). you're probably going to hate him more than you hated Hershey, because he's extremely playful and there's no doubt you're bound to step on him since he's so small. and you'll probably kick him aside when he gets in the way. Nonetheless, he'll take it as you playing with him, and he'll even love you for that. Aww dad, i know you secretly loved hershey when you were here. telling us that when all of us were already asleep as you come home, hershey comes running to you, standing on her two hindlimbs, trying to get your attention. I knew how much you appreciated those moments. well, here's another dog to welcome you home, only you're already home and won't need these dogs.

for the past days, i've been thinking about you more than usual. when life seems to get tougher, i imagine how you were able to go through your own struggles. i imagine what you would have told me if i tell these things to you. i imagine what you would have done yourself if you were in my position. i remember during the times that you yourself went against the grain, and how you simply went on it without hesitation because you knew well you were fighting for what's right, and what's true. i wish i were as strong as you were.

i miss you, dad. sometimes i wish you were still around, because having you around meant i don't have to push myself to be stronger. because with you, i'm still someone's little girl, and i get the license to be dependent on you. i remember how you once told me, "19 years old ka na? hindi ba 16 ka lang?" aww dad, it's like you forget that you danced with me during my debut. i guess it's natural for an only girl to be her dad's little girl forever, even until the point you should have walked me down the aisle.

in any case, dad, you know i'm doing great. you know how you're still very much part of my everyday life. your memory has led me to a lot of good and right decisions, and i intend to continue living with the same guiding thoughts.

yes, i promise to study really really well, to be on guard when commuting, and not to lose hope when life seems to tell me i'm not for med. haha dad, you would have to convince harder than that.