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Changes can be sweet, and sometimes bitter. I'm moving out of Blogspot and will be using Wordpress instead. After years of defending blogspot over wordpress, I have conceded and opened an account in Wordpress. Thanks to export-import features, I don't need to let go of my archives.

It's just like a bend in the road, a change in orientation but still going in the same direction. I'm still moving forward. See you there! :)

Karen says hello to her new home.

http://karensayshello.wordpress.com

Travel Light

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Travel light. Take only the essentials, and be resourceful. Not everything you see and hear are needed in life. Take only the essentials, and use them well. Avoid bulky baggages filled with unnecessary anxieties and worries. The journey will have its own worries, and your essentials will be enough.

Travel light, travel happy.

Happy Goodness

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The most honest way of touching a person's life is not knowing you're already doing that. And the paradoxical nature of it is that, we are humbled when they are able to appreciate us for it. But the most honest way of doing good, is when we actually mean it. Sometimes it is not in our intentions to be good, but we inadvertently do good. And we are rectified when a person thanks us for it, because we realize that we never really meant it. What if we start meaning to do good? To be heroic, such that we still try to do good even if it's already out of our convenience. Tough call, I know.

Ah, but it's always a happy attempt to fill the world with goodness. It's a little difficult, but it is always fruitful, even the seemingly futile attempts are. Nothing is wasted, that's the best thing about it.

Pass me by

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Let all other things pass me by. 

But let me not miss out on You.

I'm happy to see You passing by.

in the most ordinary circumstance

in nothing less than perfect timing.

In Love

I am in love with Life. I think it's beautiful and it has so much more to it than what we already know. I love happiness because it's a universal force which physics has never adequately explained. I like randomness because it makes life more interesting, but that this has to be in moderation because duties and responsibilities call for order and predictability. I like being in the middle of the world, meeting different people, engaging in different sorts of conversation. I love my family and friends and trying to make them happy as well. But of course to keep my sanity, I save space for myself, where I could enjoy my own company and muse about life's beauty.

I am a medical student and little by little this kind of life is proving to me that toxicity and being busy are not excuses to miss life and all its splendor. I am an aspiring doctor, but and I also yearn for some creative work. I know these two will eventually be realized, and it's just a matter of time. 

I love the basic elements of learning: to read, to write, to talk, and to listen. I love the whole spectrum of colors, in its subtlety and boldness, in its opacity and transparency. I like still photos and their play of shadow and light.

I could go on and on, blabbering about the things I love. Simply put, I am in love. 

Good Morning

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I have never woken up to a pleasant morning like this for the longest time. I woke up in the middle of a dream, which I couldn't remember anymore, but I know it was something pleasant. I wanted to sleep longer and have more of those peaceful dreams, but God was tugging me, and said He wanted to talk to me already. In my half open eyes, I talked with Him, and blabbered things I hope made some sense. Finally, I got my senses woken up little by little, and the beautiful morning is slowly rising to my horizon and I can't help but smile and thank God for this sweet surprise. I woke up to a reality sweeter than the dreams I had this morning.

I prayed for you this morning. :)

Questions

Sometimes it's easier to search for an answer when you know what question you're trying to answer. Sometimes it's more difficult to look for the right question because you're simply lost. But let me begin with these two questions in mind:

What is important to you?

What makes you important? 

The importance of our being --- have you really found yours?

The Mystery of Migraine

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The mystery of migraine: it strikes as it pleases, its etiology is unknown, and it affects people's functionality in different extent.

I've been having episodes of migraine these past days. It's very untimely since it's taking too much time away from my studying (or blogging. hehe.) It's especially difficult when it strikes while I'm walking. Because it blurs my vision, it throbs and it feels like I'm about to pass out any moment. It feels like my brain's expanding as it throbs its way out of my cranium. Man. I wish this expansion has something to do with the studying I've been doing, but I highly doubt that. Please migraine, go away. Karen needs to study.

To Where You Are

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To Where You Are
by Josh Groban


Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are my
beloved dad
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
’cause you are my
beloved dad
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIAQCiMIEEQ

Of Grace and Balance

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In her graceful fall we find acceptance

In complete surrender she has embraced a will

not of her own but of life less understood.

A wise man once said, charity is not merely in giving, but more in understanding. Everyone seeks to be understood. We are unhappy when we are ignored, unheard and taken for granted. And yet the soonest we stop to seek for understanding and start giving it, we realize how life can actually be brighter and more peaceful. 

May we never find ill feelings for anyone who has faulted us. Instead, may it always be in understanding that we forgive. May we never feel righteous over people who make a fool of themselves. Instead, we realize what a bigger fool we are to feel righteous. 

Oh, there could never be a sadder form of poverty, but that of poverty in understanding. A person who understands is wiser than the learned, is richer than a millionaire, and knows best how to love.

A Year and 12 Seconds

A year and 12 seconds

I've shared dreams with you

A year and 12 minutes

I've laughed with you

A year and 12 hours

I've prayed for your happiness

A year and always

I'll be by your side.

Stolen Time

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Lulling. In the middle of my routinely night studies, I thought of sneak peeking into my introspective thoughts and share it to whoever is around.

There's an unknown etiology to my happiness today. There were little instances that made me sustain my smile a little longer, but I knew there was something more about today. This is probably an internal force of happiness pulling me inward and at the same time pushing me outward to share this happiness with people. (Yes, You. thank You, God.)

Today marked a busy day for me. Everything i need to do today has to be put on an alarm or sticky-noted just so I remember. But even the notes I put on alarm are still forgotten.

Today I thought I should make a new reminder for myself, that's to be happy and to make other people happy.

Making happiness a habit, one day at a time.

Happy Thoughts

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They come in snippets
They come in thought
They trickle from my heart to yours

Sometimes you get yourself in a state of unbelievable happiness, and you're left with nothing but a grateful heart.

What made you happy today?

To you who made it

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I'm so proud of you Alric :) More opportunities have opened for you, and I pray that you choose well, that you do well, and that love be your foremost motivation to be accomplished.

Nightsky

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Stars are falling one by one

but you and I will remain

holding up above,
lighted and twinkling
in the clear night sky

Forward!

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I'm trying to make time keep up with my pace, but it's only pulling me forward as it ticks. Walking at my pace is just not going to make it. Run, Karen, run.

Order

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When things are back in order, thoughts in my head flow better, words come out nicely, and I am able to love more consciously.

It's always nice to know what you're doing, to own your actions and to mean every word you say.

365 hello's

It starts a conversation, a relationship and love. 365 hello's... and counting. 

Too Few Words

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The pages are turning on its own, and the story is moving forward without the storyteller. The past days have been pretty busy that I can barely get some time to sit down and share some thoughts in this space. My recent entries have only been few short breaths I was able to spare from a very squeezed day. Nonetheless, God has been good. Most moments were snippets of happiness, like they were sneak preview of the next big thing.

Hello there.

On Your Birthday

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This is how I felt yesterday. Because I missed you, and I wish I could spend the day with you. I love you, Dad. :) Happy birthday!

Truth is, this was me on your birthday because I spent the day studying for an upcoming exam.

Short Walk

Photo by Alric Mondragon

No one really knows what's at the end of the hallway, but nothing's stopping us from finding out. Ready?

Like Kings and Queens

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We are dignified like kings and queens.
We are respected like we're majesty.
We defend our throne, our seat of freedom
With strength of character as our very army.
We live like real kings and queens
with no servants but ourselves.

Being Different

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We want to be different. We want to make our own mark. And we want to be distinguished from the rest. To do that, sometimes we think too out of the box. And yes, sometimes it catches other's attention, and more often, only for few sweet seconds do we get their attention.

Avant-garde. Not too many get close to being avant-garde. So many of us still try to make our own avant-garde character. However, bell curve shows most of us still fall in the ordinary taste, the common, the popular, the mainstream. Who, then, are the real avant-garde people? They're the outliers. They probably don't even know they have that character.

Inside of the box. With more people trying to think too out of the box, wouldn't it be more different now to think inside the box? I've peeked into the box, and I see a lot of interesting ordinariness. I think, the ordinary is getting less and less explored that we become unfamiliar to it. 

And while we put so much effort in trying to be different, are we making an effort to make a difference?

Come with Me

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It's not an easy trail, but we will get there. Slowly, but surely, we will get to our goal. In the meantime, let's enjoy this one-step-at-a-time journey.

Perfect Time

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I had a longer lunch time yesterday, and it was pretty much the perfect time for me to have a power nap since I've been wanting to have one. But my friend needed me, and I guess, it was a more perfect time to be a friend than to be dreaming senselessly.

Summer Waves

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Three days left till I finally say goodbye to summer. Rainy season has already found its way to where I am. Now, it's time to pull out my umbrella and jacket out of my closet.

Wow. It's been more than a summer break, it was the much needed retreat I longed for after 10 months of battling in my academic adjustment. As I slowly approach my way to second year med proper, I realize there's only little room for adjustment because things should be pretty much settled by now. In a few days' time, I'll be buried under my books again as I let my skin tone get back to its lighter tone. Series of hello's: hello med books, hello classmates (old and new), hello professors.

Goodbye summer waves, hello Manila's wavy flood.  

Creativity

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Oh yes, it does. No creativity's coming out of my brain for the past days. I need some creativity in my life. Have I been too coward lately? Summer break's about to end, and I haven't dipped my fingers to any colored paint yet. I better get my hands a little dirty with a bunch of happy colors before the coming school year sucks it out of me again.


Happy colors on my hands please. :)

It's about time

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In the grown-up world, they deal with money, investments, and legality of all things. Papers and contracts have to be signed, and all things important have to be kept in a safe. In the grown-up world, it isn't just about freedom and independence, but more importantly knowing that you are accountable for what you are doing. In the grown-up world, you have to know how to deal with people professionally, clear-headed and calm, because chances are you'll get to nowhere if you let your emotions run you down. In the grown-up world, there are more things that have to be dealt with seriously because the consequences are far too great, and it doesn't just concern you, but the people around you.

I've always thought the grown-up world is too scary. I've always thought responsibilities beyond homeworks and academic responsibilities are too serious and heavy enough to weigh down one's disposition in life. Adults speak in a jargon that's difficult to understand if you're not in the know. Adults can do so much to you if you don't know what you are doing. But I also realized, in the grown-up world there are those who disguise themselves to be mature people in number and in age, but in actions, they're not. I realized there really is nothing to be scared about in their world, because as long as you keep yourself informed and be guided with respect, you will get yourself fairly well through their world.

Things I learned in their world:
1. It's okay to ask questions, you just have to know the right people to ask these questions to.
2. Always be informed to counter those poser adults who only know to take advantage of people in their ignorance.
3. Be confident. Age has nothing to do with confidence. Rather, it comes from the fact that you know something.

In the grown-up world, people can be far too serious with their work. I realized to smile, to laugh, to be charitable to these grumpy people are the things they miss from their childhood days. It's good to remind them of these because it helps them to go back, that hey, they once had a happy life.

Cheer up, you grumpy old people. And stop taking advantage of people you think are ignorant of what their doing... that's just so childish.

Fly Me to the Moon

Photo by Luis Liwanag

Because the moon tonight has been lovely and smiling, I'd like to fly to the moon and feel its happiness. I wonder what makes the night sky so happy tonight. I wonder what beauty it sees in the universe to make it smile so lovely tonight. Is it because of Venus so near to it that gives a smile of sublime beauty?

Happy night, happy sky. :) I hope your night is a happy one, too.

In a little while

 

When the current goes crazy, a good pause will do. Get off the river, and see how it slowly calms itself. The river can go on without us, so it's up to us if we want to continue on with our travel. Look at where the river is going. Is it still where we envisioned ourselves to be?

We could float on with the current, but in the riverbends we'll have to direct our rafts better. There will be more bends to conquer along the way, but it will certainly get us to the end. We won't lose our way, as long as we're certain with what we want.

In a little while I'll be getting on the raft again. Are you coming with me? In a little while we'll be on the next bend. Are we ready for it?

Infinitely Defined

Dear God,
In the best effort that I live each day for you, you have given me experiences and opportunities, both mundane and significant, to understand what you wish  to tell me. I'm starting to see that each day is like a postcard with your message in it. I wake up in the morning, rush to my letterbox, and see a postcard waiting to be appreciated and read. Each day is a postcard from you. :)


At times I would care to appreciate your postcard, but more often than not, I just read and look at it without much thought --- like those days that have gone by without noticing you so much. And yes, I might have missed on a lot of sweet nothings from you already. Those postcards, which I failed to keep in my memory box, are already lost in the past without a chance to be appreciated better. 


From now on, I should ask myself towards the end of the day, what are you telling me with all these? What's my postcard today all about? Thank you for the postcards, God. I think I will reply to one of your postcards soon.


Love, 
Karen

Who Killed Who?

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If Serif's dead, who's next?

Gaudium cum Pace

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Never have I sought for thought of happiness in this way before. I have long fascinated myself over the idea of happiness and how it is found, but I only came to realize that happiness is not sought for its own sake.

At first there were the simple things that made me happy as a little girl. Being able to draw, color, play with my friends, watch the television and read books were the simple things I enjoyed doing. Grades and achievements have made me happy as well. Until disappointments one by one introduced themselves to me. Then, it became harder for me to just hold on to simple things that made me happy.

I don't like disappointments, (well, who does?) but my decision to be happy kept me well and... happy. From this, I have proven to myself what others would say, happiness is a decision.

For a relatively long and uneventful time, I have kept myself happy such that people say I'm a sunny person who never had a gray cloud hover her head. Major failure in exams, trying times in the family, and even death of a loved one, never stopped me from having a positive outlook in life. Wow, what strength, you might say. And yes, even I am overwhelmed by how God led me through these trials in my life. From this, I realized, happiness is not just a mere decision, but allowing God himself to make me happy by abandoning myself to Him in times of trouble.

But what else can I do to be happy? A wise man told me: think of the others. He told me, that when I think of the others, all my problems will go away, because the only concern I will be left with are the concerns of the others. And well, he said it like it was magical. To me, anything that makes its own vanishing act that's unexplainable is like magic. But the wisdom to his teaching is nothing magical. Rather, the wisdom to his teaching lies in the very idea of love.

Happiness is not sought for, it is merely a consequence of doing good out of love. I realized, to think of the others is what will lead me to my gaudium cum pace. I realized that only with love will I be able to seek for the Good, and only true good will give the consequence, joy with peace. And when this happens, when you're able to love unselfishly, happiness comes with peace.

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It takes humility to receive a no
It takes humility to say yes despite all the odds
It takes lack of pride to be pathetic
But lack of pride does not necessarily mean humility.

It takes wisdom and courage to stop being pathetic.

Today said I love you

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Today said I love you

to her dearest Tomorrow

But the two could never meet

not until they're both in the past

Humor Me

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I love it :)

Poof

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Oh great Poofer, please don't burst my bubble today! :)

Look Up

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And I look up as I try to search for answers. Unexpectedly, Your blessings came in pouring without ceasing. You caught me again with a beautiful surprise. :)

Quaint and Beautiful.

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Sometimes I just want to be so small so I could see the world at large. There's less chance to appreciate the bigger picture, but better chance to appreciate the little things.

A Distant Memory

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It's a distant memory of you and I walking by the sea shore, as you air out some of your frustrations in life. It was a starless night, and the moon was full and bright. We walked around to be acquainted with the place a little, knowing that we were there just to pass the night. I wanted to walk around and see the place, and I forced you to walk with me. You were being sentimental, as I was being happily naive with my own concerns.

You're my dad. Back then, I didn't really have that concept of being close with you because I was in the bubble of my adolescence. Little did I know that losing you would actually make me appreciate better those significant moments I had with you. How you trusted me with these thoughts back then, how you actually thought of expressing your sentiments to me back then. It's about time that you hear mine, as if we're walking by the sea shore in the starless night again. Talk to you later.

Comic Strip No. 9

Calvin and Hobbes

By Bill Watterson

Imagination is a best friend when one is bored. :)

Oh, Summer

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Where art thou?

7th Heaven

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As what they would say, I could actually die now and go to heaven, after coming from a retreat. Oh, but as the minutes go by, my chances of getting sure ticket to heaven is decreasing, and from the priority list, i'm slowly starting to go back to being waitlisted. 


Hello, earth dwellers. Happy to see you! :)

Happy Leaves

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Autumn :) Fine, I know it's summer, but these lovely colors are irresistible.

Come Fly Away With Me

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Come fly away with me
and we'll change the color of the sky
to green, yellow, orange and pink
Come float away with me
and we'll change the color of the sea
to teal, turquoise with a hint of gold
Come away with me
and we'll be in colors we've always wanted
in spring and autumn colors
in summer and winter hues

Oh, Travel.

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I will travel to see the world. Not now, though. There's been too many hindrances to this travel. For instance, Iceland volcano eruption, which has stopped all flights going to and out of Europe. Earthquake in China has really shaken the country and it wouldn't be too welcoming. And the political dispute in Kyrgyztan has divided the nation where a lot of civilian supporters are getting killed. Poland has been mourning for the death of its leaders and prominent figures who died in a plane crash. It would only be a mourning and somber travel. There's just too many things happening in the world. But we all know these are not the very hindrances to my travel. It's time and resources to spare that I don't have.

For now, I have the whole world in my fingertips, as I surf through the internet, as I change the channel in our cable TV, as I read through magazines and newspaper. For now, the world has got me, but pretty soon, I, too, will conquer the world.

Summer!

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"I like the color blue and green

and everything in between." (avm)

Hello, Summer!

Only Because

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...we think far ahead of what's present, that we fail to enjoy our supposedly happy moments. I just think the saddest fear there is is the fear to be happy. That's just depressing in all aspects. So, stop worrying about tomorrow! How about living today like it's the greatest blessing you will ever receive?

Happy heart :)

Of Letting Go

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Of things we hold on to because of uncertainties
Of thoughts we can't let go even if they give us anxieties
Of people who break us in carelessness
Of goals that gave us restlessness,
Let go.

It will always be difficult to let go, but let the burgeoning tomorrow inspire us to look beyond what we have at present. Uncertainties will always thrive in itself, but don't let its presence hinder us from exploring the unknown.

Beautiful End

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They say there are no coincidences, that the amusing circumstances where two events take place at the same time or one after another is a meaningful design. It may not be easily understood, but it's something one could appreciate after some thought.


Today is Easter Sunday, and so is my Dad's 2nd death anniversary. It's not very easy for me to integrate these two important events of the day in a blog entry, but here goes...
-----------

Soon as the visitors left, I went to sit on your bed. I got my exam reviewers back, and had a futile attempt to review. I could not understand anything from what I was reading because it had already been a tiring night. But I held on with my review as I also held on to your hand. It was the perfect excuse to stay up late. Truth was I had no intention of sleeping that night. But my exhaustion got the better of me, my eyes grew heavy, and I fell asleep still holding your hand.

That was our last moment together. I would have wanted my memory to end there, but like in most instances in life, we wait to experience some bitterness in order to let a beautiful end to flourish.

I was awakened by your hand shaking. You were already having seizure. Immediately I looked at the time, it was around 4 in the morning. And from that time on, your vital signs slowly declined. Even as your eyes were closed, and still having seizure, tears fell from your eyes. Then your head tilted as if to give in to sleep,  and soon enough you were no longer struggling, but looked very much like a child peacefully sleeping. Songs of prayers resounded in the room. It was around 8am when you expired. The beautiful end was to see you die in peace. You made it, Dad.

I have long understood the meaning of death, and I have accepted well enough your death, Dad. But this understanding and acceptance has not exempted me from helplessly missing you. I still find myself asking from time to time, 'Are you still here, Dad? Or are you just at work / abroad, and that very soon I will welcome you by the door as you get home?' But truth never fails to dawn on me with the bittersweet thought, I can only go as far as keeping you in my heart.

The bitter part is already done, and the beautiful end has already unfolded. God had not died only to end things in bitter grief. He has resurrected in order to give Life, and this is the very reason why each of us has a chance to have our own beautiful end.

To Pope

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It's hard not to say anything about it.


While the rest of the Christian community experience in their own way being one with the Passion of Christ, the Pope himself experiences collective violence from the verbal attacks of both Catholics and non-Catholics.


Why are they doing this? I understand their indignation towards injustice and the lack of morality of sexual abuse. But it's simply unfathomable to regard you as not concerned about this issue, much more to accuse you of doing a cover-up of these issues, both old and recent. You're a public figure, but they don't know you enough, nor our faith. Or maybe, they simply wish to be stubborn about this because creating this issue gives them a sense of righteousness. Indeed, it's a paradox to have the head figure of the Church tolerate sexual abuse of children by priests. But it's an overly magnified issue in the most distorted fashion and from the most inappropriate angle. You have been put in a position in which whatever action you take, or words you express will be taken against you, always in different meaning and interpretation. Whether you act in the virtue of prudence, or in the virtue of daringness, you sit at a throne where a lot of people would want to cast the first stone, and everything you do will be taken against you. And yet you never sowed hatred. And yet, forgiveness and understanding is still your foremost defense.


I cannot imagine the hurt you're going through right now, more so, your unrelenting forgiveness of these attacks. Know that I am with you through prayers.


Your daughter,
Karen

Wake Up

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Oh, it's not going to be very easy to follow a note such as this, especially if it's on a sticky note. Unless, maybe, if it "sticks" on your dreams. Warning: there won't be any snooze for this.

Ah, but its simplicity speaks of its straightforwardness. I guess some circumstances do not need a lot of elaboration or loud alarms, but just the simple reminder, wake up.

Crowd

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He looked at me among a crowd of believers. And in his loving gaze, he wanted me to know that I have nothing to worry. Everything is in his hands now. Abandonment, that's what he's been saying with his hands stretched out before me.


In the most ordinary circumstances of the day, you call upon me to give a little sacrifice, to be with you in your passion, share a little in the cross you carry. And what is this compared to the much suffering you endured out of your love for me, out of your great love for mankind.