and if only the stars could speak...

jeep 101

noong nakaraang biyernes, nasa u.p. ako at patungo ng sm north. minalas-malas pa 'ko sa paghihintay ng dyip dahil inabot ako ng mga isang oras sa kakahintay ng masasakyang dyip. maulan-ulan pa naman. pero 'di bale, nakasakay rin naman ako at naging kampante na dahil ilang sandali na lang makakarating rin ako ng sm. pero hindi naging ganun kasimple ang mga pangyayari... dahil bago pa man ako makarating ng sm north, eh muntik pa akong manakawan ng isang pangit na lalaki. gusto mo malaman ang kwento? ilalahad ko dito.

may lalaking sumakay na pinagpilitan pa niya yung pwet niyang malaki sa tabi ko. maya-maya, habang nasa loob pa ng u.p. ang dyip, napatingin ako sa bag ko at nakita ko ang kamay niya na papasok sa bag ko. ang mali ko naman kasi nakabukas yung bag ko. at sa sandaling napansin niyang nakita ko kamay niya, tinanggal niya. agad kong sinara ang bag ko. tinitigan siya ng matagal sa mata. napatingin sa'kin pero hindi ko tinanggal 'yung tingin ko. sa loob-loob ko gusto ko ng batukan. kaya lang nag-atubili ako dahil baka may panaksak. natatawa na lang ako na nahuli ko siya. binuksan ko uli ang bag ko at tiningnan kung may nakuha siya. sa kabutihang-palad, wala naman siyang nakuha. at ang kapal pa talaga ng mukha niya dahil ngumingisi pa siya sa'kin, eh halata namang kinabahan siya dahil nahuli ko siya. matapos ko siyang mahalata nagbayad na siya kaagad at sinabing bababa na lang siya sa philcoa. pagbaba sa philcoa, aba eh kasama pala niya yung isang lalaki nakaupo sa kabilang dulo. mandurukot na, mandurugas pa, dahil pang isang tao lang ang binayaran niya.

sa susunod talaga, masigurado ko lang na wala siyang panaksak isisigaw ko sa dyip: "hoy mamang pangit! 'yung kamay mo bakit nasa bag ko?!"

paalala sa mga nagkokomyut din katulad ko, pag sumasakay ng dyip:

- siguraduhing nakasara ang bag
- yakapin ang bag kung pwede.
- siguraduhing nakikita mo 'yung mga kamay ng mga katabi mo. kalimitan may dala-dala silang bag na walang laman at dun nila tinatago 'yung mga kamay nila. 'yung dati kong nawitness na pagdukot, 'yung mamang pangit may jacket at may mala-suitcase na bag. hindi talaga kita 'yung buong braso niya. 'yun pala sinaslash na niya 'yung bag ng katabi niya.
- at siyempre, magdasal. dahil naniniwala akong nakaligtas noong biyernes ng dahil sa Kanya.

exhibit #5: burning dove

...and He filled the hearts of His faithful

one-liners

i got this from an email.

1. Give God what's right..... not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to hopeless end. God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions...... just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message. His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead......It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily ...... walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride. he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them & He'll clean them.

25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Simple.

There are some things we don't need to understand because we'll never understand and we'll just have to accept and believe in it. Our mind's inept to comprehend everything we wish to understand because there's always a limit to everything. No matter how far we push that limit, the limit will never cease to exist.

And for reasons of trying to get things our way, we compromise truths. we make amends that will make the incomprehensible ideas understandable to our simplistic minds. but little do we realize how much we've compromised the essence of life itself. we only get to see the silhouette of the once clear meaning of life as we confuse ourselves with "truths" only we created. what has happened to the once simple life?

the essence of life is indeed simple despite the many things we hardly understand. it has become complicated because we always choose what's complicated. We always choose where it's more convenient and comfortable for us. And as we seek for convenience, we make life not simpler for us, but actually complicated. Life being simple is leaving things as they are. Leaving them the way they were meant to be, regardless of whether they require for you to struggle or not. Convenience, however, is to avoid any form of struggle. Life was never meant to be struggle-free. It was only meant to be simple.

exhibit # 4: sweet serenity

moving forward with the river

after weeks and weeks of watching the river flow, i am now ready to ride my raft. i am not merely going with the flow, but i am the driver of my raft. i choose where to go, choose where to do the necessary turns, and turning back's not a choice. i am moving forward with the river, i may be ahead of it from time to time, but i hope not to lose my track now that i know where i'm headed. i anticipate to encounter most of the obstacle there exists, but more importantly, i am certain to get where i should be.

every moment of the journey is for Him.

human touch

The day started with a clear state of mind, but as the day unfolded, things weren't coming to a clear picture that i couldn't see through the worth of this day. it was a very tiring day. and my only solace is to think of the things that made me happy throughout the day. the bits and pieces of happy thoughts make way to my consciousness to give me a start as to how i could appreciate the simple yet profound worth of this day. what stands out is that of human touch.

despite the overwhelming heat and long walks i had to take for enrollment (which is yet to be accomplished), a human touch was all i needed to break free from the mental and physical stress i was bombarded with. a simple pat on my back from a friend was more than enough for me to compose myself, to let go of the bad vibes flooding my aura and to bring out a smile on my face while singing the "rubber duckie song". but of course, the cycle must continue, and it is but right that i pass on to others that much needed human touch. before i went home, i was able to share a simple human touch with a kid i encountered along Katipunan Avenue. There was no money involved, just an arm over his shoulder and a friendly conversation, and it became an encounter to remember. and there's no limit as to how many people i can share the magic of human touch with. in a couple of minutes, my dad will be coming home. and what's a better way of welcoming him than with i-missed-you-dad-hug?

as the day comes to an end, i see a clearer picture of what today contributes to the wholeness of my life. i now see the bigger picture. ...and how the world could be a better place to live in if more people learned of the magic of a human touch.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;

(woh woh, bee doh!)

Rubber Ducky, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!

(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)

CHORUS: Every day when I
Make my to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby

(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)

Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.

(repeat chorus)

Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of -
Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of -
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!(doo doo, be doo.)

(http://lavender.fortunecity.com/lavender/313/muppets/duck.html)

exhibit #3: goodbye summer

summer bids goodbye with its image becoming hazy.

Dear Lord,

today i woke up feeling really sleepy and not wanting to get off from the bed, but soon after hoped that i woke up earlier to have at least my goodbye kiss from my lola and little cousins.
today i saw dark clouds covering the sky and soon after i felt the heat of the sun on my skin. today i passed by a lot of busy people smiling, sharing angsts, laughing, and people wearing straightfaces. (probably having deep thoughts, or maybe wandering off from the real world) today i was with friends i haven't seen for quite a while, and friends i didn't see but was expecting to see. today i felt a little resentment knowing my brother will be asking me to do things for him, but more than that, i felt honored to be doing it for him. today i went to the mall where expensive things were sold but was able to buy nothing. today i was served by people who unintentionally gave a poor service, but served with all the friendly smiles they can give. today i planned to save money but was happy that i spent them on people i care. today i saw rich people with smiles on their faces, and it's good to see such happy people. today i saw a little girl lying on a sidewalk with a plastic cup on her hand, while people passed by not noticing her or chose not to notice her. i felt a smile in my heart because i know how much warmth of Your love she is receiving every second of her life. today i said i was already full from the merienda i had, but ended thanking for the grace of food You laid down on the table. the dinner was really a grace, because more than the food we had, was the laughter that filled our hearts. and a lot more things to be happy about happened today...

i write this letter for reasons i can't put in simple expression of emotions. You've been with me throughout the day and Your love is just so evident with every second i had with You. The boldness of Your beauty from the simplest scenery of joy and even suffering, to the beauty that lies within each person i encountered today, is so magnificent that it is so surprising to be a mere glimpse of its wholeness. and as the night comes to an end, i thank You for the overwhelming Love, and for the gift of today that left me with a happy heart.

all for Your greater glory, Lord.
Amen.

simple thoughts of a child.

kyle: ate, nakakita ka na ng taong may isang ulo at dalawang paa?
ako: oo naman. marami na. ikaw diba may isang ulo at dalawang paa?
kyle: ay oo pala. mali. e ate, nakakita ka na ng taong may tatlong ulo at isang paa?
ako: hindi pa. bakit ikaw?
kyle: hindi pa rin.

*hehe nakakatuwa nga naman kung magyabang ang mga bata. magyayabang sila ng mga bagay na hindi pa nila nakikita. :P

kyle: ate, nakakita ka na ng OFW?
ako: OFW? marami na. diba yun yung mga taong nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa?
kyle: ay oo nga pala. mali. nakakita ka na ng UFO?

*hehehe UFO naman pala. malapit na. parehong may "F" sa gitna.

kyle: ate, pag ako yumaman papagawa ako ng bahay na may limampu't siyam na palapag!
ako: *nakikinig* (ayaw niya ng 50, o 60. gusto niya 59 floors.)
kyle: tapos ate bibili ako ng 500 na kotse!
ako: talaga? ang dami naman nun!
kyle: tapos ate 10 computer!!
ako: wow kyle! ang yaman mo na nun! pa'no mo mabibili yung mga yun?
kyle: magwiwish ako sa shooting star. diba ate may power naman sila? diba magical yung mga shooting star? yun yung mabilis na star diba?

*hehehe oo nga naman, may shooting star.

nakakatuwang mapakinggang yung mga simpleng pangarap ng mga bata, at kung paano nila naiisip na makamtan ang mga ito. tinanong ko si kyle, para saan yung computer. sabi niya para daw makausap niya yung pamilya niya pag nasa malayo siya. nakakatuwa na naiisip ng isang batang katulad niya ang mapalapit pa rin sa kanyang pamilya gaano man siya mapalayo. tapos hinabol niya, lalagyan niya ng maraming computer games yung computer. hehehe.

bitter pill

a while ago, i was trying to get my 8-year old cousin, Kyle, to take his vitamins that was 3/4 inch in size. i never really thought i'd get a hard time to convince him that it was really easy to take it in. my first attempt took us 30 minutes of swallowing and spitting out, but to no avail. His aunts and Lola was already cheering for him, until minutes later they were getting really tired and impatient, and soon enough, annoyed. Kyle cried. My brave little cousin cried saying "hindi ko po talaga kaya, ate... natatakot ako." He was afraid it would get stuck in his throat. He said it's too big for him. and so we gave it a break and let him finish his food first. the room finally settled down and all his aunts were not speaking of it anymore. It didn't really get me down because as Kyle was about to take his seat again, he told me "mamaya ate, iinumin ko na talaga. promise." and that gave me hope. i told him there was nothing to worry because i'm going to give him chocolate soon after so he won't taste the bitter pill. after he ate, he went to my side, got the pill and his glass of water. i can still see the fear in his eyes. Then he said it's better if we go upstairs where no one can see him. so we did. we went upstairs, got ourselves ready, and had our second attempt. it was, of course, calm because his aunts weren't around. it was just between the two of us. when he was in his position already, he blurted out: "ate, hindi ko talaga kaya..." he was asking me if it was okay if we just open the pill and he'd take in whatever's inside the pill. i wasn't really sure if that's fine, but i thought it's better if he gets trained taking in pills, after all he said he wanted to be a doctor. so i explained to him how the pill needed to get to his stomach first before the nutrients could be distributed. we had a little lecture on anatomy and on the digestive system. still, he was saying he couldn't take it in. i continued on with the convincing, and from time to time i was gaining hope when he'd say: "ate ikaw maglagay sa loob." so i did but after taking it in he spitted it out again. the pill was getting all messy, melting little by little. we paused for a while, and i told him to pray to God and ask for courage and strength. He did just as i said. but he still wasn't ready to take the pill. to make the long story short, after an hour of convincing, lecture on the body, spiritual preparation, and mental conditioning, he still did not take the pill. We were really almost there. He was convinced how the pill's good for him, and he was willing to do it for his health, only if it weren't for the thought of the pill getting stuck inside his throat.

it was an experience i shall never forget. Even if we weren't able to attain our goal, i know how this experience will mark Kyle's identity as well. A simple decision to drink the pill can reflect his behavior on decision-making. i just hope it's gonna do him good and gonna make him a stronger person after.

Life has so many bitter pills to offer. it's up to us if we will risk a little to take them in, or if we will waste the opportunity and risk the possibility of forever regretting the wasted opportunity. Each of us have different perception on a single bitter pill. it's up to us how we will strategize to take in the bitter pill. In the end it will always be our decision.

exhibit #2: vanishing point

and the journey goes on...

Entering Noah's Ark

The media has once again boxed the society as if we are to enter Noah's Ark where each creature is paired up with a creature of the same kind. With all the romantic-mushy movies, loveteams bringing to real life their "relationship", young stars paired up, and even the Mura-Mahal relationship, we are faced with a society where almost everybody's busy looking for that "special someone". The young nowadays are so in a hurry to find a partner to have and to hold, to hug and to kiss, to lean on and to lock bodies with, to caress and to you-name-it. What are we in a hurry for? Are we about to get flooded?

but when you get a survey of the society's couples, you'd be lucky if you find at least 2 committed couples among 10. they painstakingly look for their "special" someone, but they do not have the guts at all to be committed. and when asked, do you see the person to be your wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, to hug and to kiss, to lean on and to lock bodies with, to caress and to you-name-it? they say: "what for? we've done it.." oh yeah. i forgot. and then you try to get deep with the person, you ask, "no, really, do you think he/she's the one and only you'll ever be with for the rest of your life?" they'd laugh at you for ever thinking such long-term ideas. i always forget how society has lived for short-term basis only. it has not only favored instant-mami-noodle-attitude, but has also given a new meaning to the saying "live the moment".

what's so terrifying with being alone? life with no partner means a life with more people to mingle with. it's not about being alone, but enjoying the company of more people. it's not about focusing on a specific detail, but appreciating the bigger picture. it's not about giving yourself and your body to a person, but giving your heart to people who need you more. it's not about finding insecurities from people you get jealous of, but being secured with yourself. it's not about getting to know the person well, but getting to know yourself better. it's not about getting ready for sex, but getting ready for bigger commitments. it's not about loving your one and only, but being loved by more people around you. it's not about appreciating yourself because of your partner, but appreciating yourself despite and inspite whatever others say about you. and when you know yourself well enough, when you're stable emotionally and mentally, when you've matured enough for bigger commitments --no i won't tell you to look for the special someone-- then you're on the right track to living your life to the fullest. so where does your special someone enter the scene? you'll know when he/she's right in front of you. isn't that better? you've enjoyed being yourself. you've enjoyed your single life. and without much thinking or searching for that special someone, he/she comes and takes your breath away. (you die. haha kidding) That special someone comes when you don't look for him/her.

so what goes on in a committed life? well, that would be the story of Adam and Eve. For now, we share the story, not of Noah's Ark, but of The Creation, where each of us prepares ourselves for bigger happenings, greater goodness, and taking time to enjoy what is good.

watching the river flow...

my life hasn't been exactly the way i want it to be. So now i'm taking things slowly and i'm trying to make up with the things i've taken for granted in the past. I am giving more time for myself. I'm reliving the days when i am able to fulfill my passions in life. This time around, i'm gonna live my life. This is more like it... the time when all the beautiful details of my life are highlighted; the time when my life is lived to the fullest... no regrets, just memories to cherish and to learn from.

"When heading off downriver, pull over to the bank from time to time and sit quietly and look at the river and think about where you've been and where you're going and why and how." - Robert Fulghum ("It was on Fire when I Sat on It")