The Endless Pursuit

  

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A representation of our simplistic outlook on happiness.

The danger is when one perceives happiness in view of pleasure.

Happiness can never be an addiction.

Wit

I was composed when I watched this film, but it moved me a thousand times more than any other movie I have seen. This is a poem quoted throughout the movie:

Death, be not proud

by John Donne
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee;
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Chiaroscuro

Let shadows flail and wail in burrow

Let light float above the foreground shadow

Let shadows thin out in the grief of midnight sonnet

Let light dance in ballet with a beautiful pirouette.

Brain

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Because I need inspiration for my Neuro exam, I'm putting this as a reminder of how controversial Einstein's brain was. Before he died, he insisted that his brain be preserved and examined. Was it because he knew all along that he thought differently, or that his intellect was more than just an average mind? For years, it was said his brain was within the normal range of size and proportion. But later on, some findings surfaced that he had no parietal operculum. So what? I say, it was not enough to study his brain after he died. Maybe the difference in his brain lies in the neuronal connections he had, such that if it were studied under an fMRI, it might have shown how different his brain worked. Ahh..well, who am I to have a say on this, anyway? I'm merely a medical student attempting to do good in my grand-slam Neuro exams this week.

Agh. This topic is so interesting that my neurons are almost gasping for oxygen, trying to surface out their thoughts. But. The. Thought. Of. My. Neuro. Exam. Is. Forcing. Me. To. Stop. Typing. and just study.

Hi Albert Einstein, maybe you could drop by in one of my dreams tonight and wish me luck. That's if I will sleep at all.

(I wonder if Einstein ever crammed in his exams. ugh. Karen. Stop. Typing.)

I am Pro-Life

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I think there's no way to say it but straightforwardly. I don't want to fall into the false virtue of human respect, where we sometimes fear of speaking our views just because others don't see it the way we do. I don't want to fall into false humility, wherein our tendency is to please as much people as we can. So here goes...

I am not for abortion, because it's murder, an act of killing a helpless being with the use of mechanical instruments, or through toxins in the form of pills. These abortifacients that are trying to disguise themselves as contraceptive pills are clearly abortifacients to me because it kills life; it stops conception, which is what defines the beginning of life. I am not for artificial contraceptives and condoms because they simply nurture selfish mentality of stopping life.

But when you speak of being pro-life, it's not supposed to end at what you're not for, but it should go beyond and be able to express what you are for. Being pro-life, after all, should be something positive, just as what life should be.

I am for responsible parenthood, wherein married couple agrees that practicality does not necessarily mean aiming for a life of comfort, but having that objective of providing appropriately without compromising one's virtues. I am for freedom and informed choice, where every couple is given all the right information, without bias perspective. I am hopeful that given the right information they will be able to discern the true good, and be able to choose it for themselves. I am for the overall progress of the country, where we are able to have manpower as the greater asset we could have more than the resources that our government officials are merely drowning themselves with. I am for life, a life that is true to what it means to be human; one that is faithful to our human nature.

I believe that the ideal is not very far from what is practical. That with a little self-knowledge, and a lot of self-mastery, the ideal could meet practicality. I believe that to aim for higher virtues should not be restrictive, rather, to live the virtues is to be free from ignorance and foolishness.

Life in a Bottle

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ah... It's beautiful, I tell you --- to attempt to live in a perfect world, with simple but selfless worries. You forgo a little of your whim and extravagance, and you become content with the little but sufficient that you have. It's when you start to worry about the little things to keep up with your daily strife, but you end your day with the same optimism you had when you woke up in the morning. For a brief moment, you get trapped in your useless anxieties, but you get up, because you know there's no way to move ahead but to get up. And you also know that to fall into discouragement is the greatest defeat you don't ever have to experience in life. That no matter how seemingly the day's been wasted, you know that you've given that day at the very beginning, and that the whole day's no longer in your hands but in Him. Everything has already been offered up.

Serviam! Tomorrow will be a new day.

To The Audience

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Tears fell from their eyes,

but we'd laugh just the same

as if everything's part of the show

because we, the audience

just didn't know.

we were naive to their sorrow.

we knew none of their fears

and we were laughing so hard

as they stood together

in each other's arms

To The Beginning

Today marks the official start of my year 2010. I have changed my calendar already, and have started writing on my new planner. The start of the year is always a perfect time to make a macro scale of plans and resolutions. And these are the very things I did over the first few days of the year. Somehow, a rough looking back through the year allowed me to assess myself, see where I did best, and see where I failed most. It also allowed me to see how I changed, and in what points I remained the same.

In my head, I did some asking of how to do better, what to improve on, what to learn, what to change, how to change, and the whole shiz. And even if it seems like I have it all figured out, it's just not the same when I'm on it already. This is why today marks the official start of my year. Because today I enact one of my resolutions, and today I start to take my resolutions seriously. Yeah, seriously.

Three-hundred sixty-five days to go before the start of the following year. And three-hundred sixty-five days seem like a long time to work on improvement and becoming a better person, but three-hundred sixty-five days is long enough for me to forget my resolutions. Which brings me to my resolution of having daily beginnings, so that I would always be reminded of what I said I'd do. Each day there's a new resolution, but each day should lead me to my year-round resolution. In a cliché, it's living one day at a time, with one goal in mind. Daily beginnings... I'm starting to like the sound of it.

If new years are welcomed with a lot of noise the previous night, my daily beginnings would be welcomed with a quiet morning, much like an ordinary day, but quietly making an impact.

Good morning, world!

To 2009

Here's a note of gratitude for everything that's happened between us. There is definitely so much to be thankful for, a handful of mishaps that I will have to amend, and a whole lot of good memories to turn back to when it's called for.

It was a year of adjustment from a family loss, to changes in academic atmosphere, to a new lifestyle, to new relationships, and to a sense of independence. My homeostasis was greatly disturbed by being in a different environment, but like the ripples that a stone makes on a body of water, it dissipates eventually.

Like the yellowing of this leaf, you meet your end to give way to year 2010. And like the green portion left on the tip of the leaf, you still linger to wait for your final closure. To the great learnings you have given me, to the trying character-building you've put me through, and to the little successes you've awarded me with --- thank you.