morning kisses.

i am here. i exist.
i feel. and i think.
thoughts just keep flowing to my mind
blood surges and is pumped, one beat after another
i could never feel more alive than this
when every inch of my senses is awake
when i can hardly close my eyes and miss anything.
you become part of my system
that i can no longer imagine
my life without you.

as my heart weakens because of you,
so does my day get wasted without you.
my heart beats as if there's no more tomorrow
my heart rushes as if it's chased by death
but as you leave, my heart is not rested
but restless and beats as if searching
searching for what makes it feel alive
waiting for what brings the glimmer to my eyes.
watchful of the moment to be alive again.

when my day has started without you,
it's as if all my senses search for you.
even from a distance
i could sense your presence.
and sometimes disillusioned,
i think and want to think you are here somewhere
and yet all i can do is wait and see
if we will ever cross paths within the day.

and is it not mortifying
to just get on with the day
without a single thought of you?
and is it not insane
to end the day
without having at least a glimpse
or having to smell your scent
carried by the wind that makes me feel envious
of how she embraces you in the morning
and keeps you afloat till night

thank you for keeping me sane
with your warmth
my heart is kept undefiled
with your coldness
my mind is kept intact.
when in pain and tension
my senses are numbed
to the extent that everything is unknown to my senses
except the warm familiarity of your presence.
even as your whole being
is fatal to mine
i am more than willing
to push my limits with you

even with my last days
i shall choose to be in caffeinated blood
as i smell your bittersweet scent
as my lips kiss the brim of your cup
and finally
to have the taste of that mysteriously awakening
caffeine
coffee
my espresso.

--blackened by life's experiences
brewed by the pain life has brought
decaffeinated - just so i feel your presence
in coldness
and in warmth
sipped or strawed
you are most awaited
to lighten up my day
to bring me to existence once again.

i love coffee.