for even fairies dream

magic wand-wishy swoosh
magic dust-pitter patter
she blew her last dust with a kiss of good night

she enters her dream
where she hears nothing else
but the beating of her heart
where she seeks no one else
but the giver of the rose she holds

for even fairies dream
but of a world where there's no magic dust
no magic wand to tweak the ending
just the heart to lead the way
and the meeting of the searching souls

another still night

when everything is calm and still
while the moon is kept from a distance
the leaves fall down
flutter*flutter
from the coldness of the breeze
to the warmth of the ground
---
the unleaving of a tree.

comic strip no. 6

Calvin and HobbesBy Bill Watterson

Trivial Love

I have long been afraid of love. I feared it because I deem myself to be more of a thinker rather than a feeler. And I have always associated love with emotions. And I admit with all honesty that I cannot deal well with my emotions. Sometimes I feel something, and I go berserk trying to find out why I feel it. I can only understand the happy, sappy and sad feeling, other than that, it will be a mystery to me. In short, when I feel, I always ask why I feel it. I have to understand, in order for me to know if I should shun that feeling, or not. I have to know what it is so my mind knows what to do about it. And yes as I associate love as a feeling and an emotion, I distanced myself from it trying not to think about it at this point of my life --- until I got to know Him.

<>If God is Love, and God is Good, then love must be good. So why fear it? I realized it wasn’t love that I feared; it was the trivial love that our society has disillusioned us with, saying it is indeed Love. But what is this trivial love? You just watch the television, and you see that trivial love, commercialized through love teams, endorsed through commercials and promoted by the big networks because it is what sells to the market. (We can sometimes ask, is it really what sells to the market, or is it what they impose for the market to buy? But this is another issue.) So how do we really say it is trivial love? Love life, love team, emyoo (M.U.), girlet, boylet, chick, ssdlkaf (i couldn’t even type the word) s..w…e…e…t…i…e.. asdkfa (and another one) b…a…b…e…s --- all these, and a lot more, are the words created, invented, and defined with new meaning for that trivial love that almost every one goes gaga over with. <>

Have you ever caught yourself in a reunion with friends, and they ask you, “Kamusta ka na?” when what they really want to hear from you is how are you doing with your love life? It’s the most interesting topic for them, or worse, it’s the only interesting topic for them. And is this the only thing that goes around the world? I mean, yeah, love makes the world go round, but hey, this trivial love? It doesn’t make the world go round. I’d say it makes the commercial industry go round, expanding it even more to that trivialized sex, rather, profaned sex.

But what exactly is this trivial love? Trivial love is a feeling, and feeling alone. It is when you don’t know the person yet, and you say you’re in love with him. It is when you just met the person the other day, and now your hands are locked together as if it won’t ever be apart. Trivial love is what we see in fairy tales and movies where one is swept away by the euphoric feeling one gets. Trivial love is when one let’s herself be swept away by the sweet feeling it gives. Trivial love is based on feelings alone, and only that. When the feeling goes away, they break apart. They’d say they have fallen out of love, but I say, no you did not fall out of love, because in the first place, it wasn’t love at all, but just a feeling you thought was love. Yes, trivial love is rather deceiving, because it gives the same emotions a true love might give; infatuation as others might call it.

<>Why am I so against trivial love? Because it is not a mere illusion, but a distortion of Love. It has degraded love to merely a feeling, when it is not. This trivial love has caused us not to see the more important things in our lives. Is it true love, if it makes us forget about the people in need of our charity? Is it true love, if it makes us forget about our family? Is it true love, if it makes us forget Him, who is Love? To love and forget about Him who is Love is a big contradiction, if I may say.

The society has created a lot of trivialities. So far, the triviality on love has been a big hit, because we have let ourselves be deceived by this. We let ourselves be carried away by our whims and emotions, forgetting about the true essence of love. And when ask, what is love for you? If for you love means red roses, sweet text messages, the “g’nyt. mwah”, or the morning calls you get, anything and everything that gives you the feeling of love, then you might want to think again. Look back and ask yourself, how well do I know this person? How well does this person know me? To know the person is to know the person’s deepest thoughts, to know the person’s behavior, mannerisms and all, and more importantly, to know the person is to see the intimate goodness in him that will make you fall in love with the person again and again for the rest of your life. After all, when you two get old, what you see externally right now will no longer be what you see when that time comes. As the song goes, "will you still love me tomorrow?" If yes, then you must be a person contented, not just a happy person, but a person contented. (Contentment is true happiness; it lasts longer than that fleeting happiness.)

comic strip no. 5

Calvin and HobbesBy Bill Watterson

deceiving laziness

and because i made all the reason to extend my not leaving the house, thus the previous entry, i rushed my way again to where i was supposed to go. tsk tsk. morning rush is such a shush. (haha corny. just wanted it to rhyme even if it didn't make any sense.) so yeah. i guess there was a pretty good reason for me to feel lazy this morning. i knew that it was gonna be a very very tiring day, and indeed it was.

But the laziness was just a deception, because today turned out to be a very happy day. it's the kind of day when God's love is just overflowing that you try to find people to share that love with. indeed, the day's opportunities were just perfect to do so. If only i could show you their clueless faces. they had no idea what was going on, why all of a sudden they're getting a spaghetti from people they don't know. it was priceless.

i remember mariel, one of the first kids we visited. she was about to get discharged from the hospital. her dad told us how she wanted a spaghetti as soon as they leave the hospital. wow. she must have been a good kid all the time that's why her fairy granted her one before she even left the hospital. Sheena, the cabbage patch-looking baby, was all cheery that she'd smile and laugh every time you call her attention. but she'd go teary-eyed when the camera was focused on her. but the most unforgettable for me was our interaction with the people "behind the scene". I would always associate a hospital with people such as the doctor, nurses, and patients. would you have thought of the people in the linen and laundry area? my friend did. and it was just heartwarming that she did. we gave them spaghetti as well.

These people, since it was an unexpected visit by not so remarkable people in their lives, they always ask, "why do this? what for?". And the answer? "well, why not?" i guess it's a subtle way of saying, "well, you've been a good worker, and i think you deserve more than what we're giving, but please, do accept it, anyway."

i think the best way to share that love is to think of the most taken for granted people, and see how you can put a smile on their faces. :) really it's all about making others happy, and it's already sharing love. most of the time we are held back by our pride and we back out at the thought of how awkward it is to do what we're about to do. and we just opt to let the opportunity pass thinking there'd be more to come. but what if it never comes? would you have regret it? would you have made your own opportunity?

so much to be happy about. so many people to bring happiness to. so many ways to make the world a happier place to live in. let's not be grumpy these humid days, please? smile. :)

(an exhale of a smiling person is cooler than a person with a grumpy face. but ironically, it's a good way of warming people's hearts.)

lazy day.

Dear Lord,
the day is just full-packed, and it's just the perfect timing to feel this lazy. i woke up early, was able to cook spaghetti, i was all giddy and excited to do the things i'll do today, and now i'm just so lazy to do them. i saw my bed, saw how the sun outside is not so bright - perfect lighting. the day is just so perfect for me to sleep all day, and maybe read my book once in a while. oh it's just the perfect day to sit back and relax.

yes, i know. i'm just being stubborn. i'll go anyway and see how i can make this day a perfect day to offer up to You. i love You, Lord.

Amen.

still night

It was too bright that the stars couldn't shine through the night,
but the sand was all glittered as if the stars went down to rest.
holding the sand, it was as if you held the whole universe in your hand
but they were merely reflection of the beauty of reality beyond our imagination.

comic strip no. 4

Calvin and HobbesBy Bill Watterson