haha!

i should be dead by now!

i've gone past my 18 years of existence - the predicted year of my death. so i guess i have yet to see the most beautiful thing on earth, to meet the most wonderful person alive, to love as much as God allows me to, to say the right words to a person in need, to meet more friends, to learn about the most interesting fact or thought on earth, to be in the most wonderful place, to see the most unusual creature on earth, to feel the most painful feeling at the same time that most glorious experience with Him. I am yet to be touched by the life of that inspiring person, to be loved by my family, to have more happy thoughts, to be saved by Him every minute of my life, to be the person He wants me to be...

and the list goes on...

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life. Through Your eyes, i've seen so much. So much enlightenment about reality, the most painful and the most fulfilling. and for all those, i will forever be thankful. You have given me so much, while i give back so little... You have not stopped loving me, even for the thousand times that i get tired struggling for you. i have so much complains while you only give the most encouraging words. I've been stubborn, i've always been one, and yet on my birthday, i ask for more patience from You. You know how much i try to give, as much as I can, the things You ask of me, and yet how much i make excuses not to do them. On my birthday, i ask, still, for that strength that i may carry on Your will for me. And on my birthday, i ask so much from you again, just like in any other ordinary day.

You have made this day a special day for me, but i haven't thought of making it something special for you. But i sure don't want it to end just like most of my lazy days... this day is for You, Lord. and hopefully, the years to come...my whole life.

i ask from You what i always ask for...be with me, always. as i end this letter for you, i hope to continue my life of prayer.

amen.