fluttering leaf

i was just reaching for a beautiful leaf on the ground, and the moment i lifted my head, you were no longer around. i'm used to being alone, but not like this. You were supposed to be there. i just know. You were there with me. But i was left in the middle of the forgotten pavement with no idea how to move about from the exact place where i reached for the leaf. Was it just a fictional reality i made in my mind that you were there? Or is this a form of selective seeing that no one ever had? Then i thought i saw you. but it was just an image I'd like to believe is your image.

i couldn't make a clear picture of what just happened, and of the seconds to come. Time doesn't matter anymore for the moment i "lost" you, it's as if every hour, every minute, and every second of your memory with me just dissolved. It's a state of forgottenness --- a state where i'm the object of oblivion. A state that brings me to another dimension --- an entirely different dimension from you, the forgetist. I can only make as much blurred images of you as i can, but in your dimension, i no longer exist. i was frozen in your past, where you have no chance of seeing, nor remembering me in whatever way i wish to be.

was it the fluttering leaf that brought me to this state of forgottenness? or was it the fluttering leaf that woke me up from the fictional reality i was beginning to believe?