I'll Be Home for Christmas

This is what i hope my dad would tell me this Christmas.

"I'll be home for Christmas"

A friend just told me it's okay to feel a little sad, as long as i don't dwell on it. I'm keeping true to my word. I'm not going to dwell on it, but this may be a little melancholic.

This will be the first Christmas without my dad. And yes, it feels a little different. The previous Christmas year already felt a little different. Dad was still here, and he went home for Christmas from the hospital. The hospital allowed patients to go home for Christmas, then come back the day after. My dad did that, along with the rest of the family. I could still vividly remember how that night went (and yes, these things i will never forget no matter how forgetful or lola i get). My dad was on a wheel chair, saying goodbye to all the nurses and medical staff that attended to him, greeting them a Merry Christmas because he was about to go home and celebrate just that. There was happiness on his face, much like a kid anticipating the coming of Santa Claus that Christmas Eve.

Remembering that moment, I'd like to spend Christmas the way he did with his last. And i feel that already. As the cool breeze pull Christmas day closer, I get more and more excited. The colorful lights that glimmer every night, Christmas songs playing in the background, plus plus Christmas wrappers! i love seeing Christmas wrappers :) especially those already torn and crumpled ones. Their lovely designs, and how it was carefully folded, but in the end they end up torn and crumpled. Isn't that selfless? haha!

Ahh, but no matter how excited I get for Christmas, a thought lingers in my head.. I hope he'd be home for Christmas.

As I was praying in the mass a while ago, I realized he is home for Christmas. And maybe as he heard me praying, he would have told me what a big celebration it would be where he is. And maybe this hoping is more of wanting to spend Christmas with him in where he is right now.

Merry Christmas, Dad!