chasing sanity.

why does it feel like i've been gone out of the world for so long? i haven't had real conversation with people until recently. and it sucks that the talk had to be about... anyway. things i never really thought i'd admit to myself. have you ever experienced something like that? that moment when you finally admit to yourself that you're one thing you never thought you'd be? *sigh* i never thought my repressed thoughts would get back at me this way.

anyway, i haven't done this for so long --- making blog entries about my day. right now i just feel the need to do so. not because what happened today is worth mentioning here, but just for the heck of it. My goodness i better practice telling someone or at least something about my day. it doesn't really feel good when you get hit on the head and realize you haven't really connected with the world so much. being too detached doesn't really do you good, you know.

so anyway, a while ago was supposed to be my oral exam in art studies 1. That report really got me at the edge of my seat. the professor gave no guidelines nor criteria except that we have to read the articles, and said we will be graded on our mastery of the text. it was too vague and i didn't get to ask other people for clarifications. anyway, it was moved to next meeting. The professor saw we weren't prepared for it. whew!

what a day. it wasn't physically tiring. but it was mentally and emotionally tiring. tsk. anything but that two!

wow! and doesn't it feel good to give out rants once in a while? right now i just feel so human. how things deem to be so real. that hey, i feel. and that despite and in spite what happened today, i'm gonna move forward and get by. i'm gonna embrace life. live. dance. sing. kiss the sun. smile. laugh. cry. fall. get up. run. walk. walk slowly. walk slower. walk slower than slower. then run so fast. until i don't feel my feet anymore. until... until.... until i get my insanity back. no. until so much of my sanity has been used up. until i go around the world in 80 days. hah! you ever tried typing lines that don't make sense? i just did.

chasing sanity has never been this difficult.