Are You Happy?

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I am.

I Am Free

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There is nothing rigid when you fight for truth. There is nothing rigid when you simply aim for higher love. It is only rigid when it already hampers my or someone else's freedom. Values and principles are not to be compromised but to be lived freely and cheerfully. And none of these implies rigidity. 

To live by my principles necessitates bias, but never discrimination. To believe in something is a given bias, but it should not stop one from being objective when faced with arguments. These principles are not chosen merely out of whim. Rather, they are lived and fought for because of logical reasons and realizations one arrives at.

To uphold truth and goodness may call for sacrifice and some things to be compromised, but it should never be a cause of imprisonment. To live by these principles may contradict another person's belief, but this never wants disunity. It simply needs understanding and more importantly, respect.

Respect begets respect.

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I am Catholic. And even now that I am not yet a full-fledged doctor, I am willing and ready to give informed choices to patients and other people who will ask me about contraceptives, be it artificial or natural family planning. To live by my principles, should never be in the way of another person's freedom and right. To be an advocate of life and natural family planning should never necessitate withholding information that is rightfully theirs. If, as I claim, I am fighting for an objective truth, then I would be guilty of hypocrisy if I am to lie before my patients and keep information from them.

Detachment

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There is a natural reaction among us that when we think we found treasure, we hold on to it as if we could never let go. This is one way of showing importance to what we have. But this holding on would also mean sacrificing other things we could not hold on to anymore, because our hands are no longer free to take a hold of these other things. This is where the disorder comes in. When our hands have nothing else but this "treasure" we found.

Cliché dictates that when we love something, we must learn to let go. This letting go is not about giving up, but all about detachment. When there is security and order in love and life, there is no need to hold on to it like you fear so much of losing it. There is always a risk of losing it, but a greater risk when we become selfish of it, and it will only be dysfunctional to live in such fear. Detachment is not a sign of lack of love, but a sign of order among things you love so much.

Twenty-Two

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It's a Happy Birthday!

Refresh

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I could already feel the summer heat. But I would have to condition myself that I'm still in a school setting and still in my serious study mode. No to summer thoughts yet, so no to these summer disillusions.


Ah, but it would be lovely to think of ways to make a good ending to my first year as a medical student. My first year bucket list.


1. Bring baon for one week, no buying of lunch/merienda in school or outside school.
2. Finish assigned chapters for an exam (I know, I know, this should have been a given already)
3. Take down notes as if you're the transcriber for every class.
4. Do something random to random people on a random day.
5. Treat someone to an ice cream. :)
6. Be able to list down my most significant learnings for this year, both academic and non-academic learning.
7. Go on a videoke. haha


I know some of them sound like resolutions that should be made at the start of the school year, but I don't think I should wait for June before I start on one of them.

Death

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..is no magic.

The life of a being disappears before our eyes. We palpate and feel no more beating, we auscultate and hear no more rhythm. The body seems to have nothing left but just traces of what we saw and what we once lived with, that happy and cheerful soul that always greeted us in amazement. Our memory has just started to fill in the gap. 

I start to ignore the lack of response, movement and subtle signs of life in this person. I sustain my belief that this person has not left me, but has just fallen asleep. Everything seems to fit my cognition, because this is just how I saw him when he falls asleep --- as if he carries with him in his dreams the wonderful thoughts he had during his wakeful hours --- peace and serenity. But reality sinks in, he is already in his wakeful state where he has started to live his dreams, and while I, left here, still dream of living the life I desire.

That same soul sees me, and looks at me, as if to wonder why I sorrow. He looks as if he wanted to make me forget about sorrow. That in his better understanding, he wanted me to experience not just ephemeral joy, but eternal happiness.

If life is a miracle, how do you beg to differ?
I am not the opposite of life. Just as indifference, and not hatred is the opposite of love. I am merely a transit point, an experience that will only happen once, and never again. 

With death, comes life, with death, comes a miracle. Death is no magic, but a miracle gravely misunderstood.

Dare

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"Dude, the camera's over here."

Sometimes, it doesn't even matter anymore if you're defying social norms. You just know you have to be grounded and fight for your stand --- even if it means turning your back on the group.

In Quiet

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Solitude.

I see your true colors

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Maybe it's not really a total makeover that you need.

Maybe you've had it with you all this time.

Maybe it's just waiting to be exposed.

Ah... they're beautiful colors.

I already see them.

Lovely. :)