Today's Post
30 April 2010
Quaint and Beautiful.
pieced by
Karen
Sometimes I just want to be so small so I could see the world at large. There's less chance to appreciate the bigger picture, but better chance to appreciate the little things.
29 April 2010
A Distant Memory
pieced by
Karen
It's a distant memory of you and I walking by the sea shore, as you air out some of your frustrations in life. It was a starless night, and the moon was full and bright. We walked around to be acquainted with the place a little, knowing that we were there just to pass the night. I wanted to walk around and see the place, and I forced you to walk with me. You were being sentimental, as I was being happily naive with my own concerns.
You're my dad. Back then, I didn't really have that concept of being close with you because I was in the bubble of my adolescence. Little did I know that losing you would actually make me appreciate better those significant moments I had with you. How you trusted me with these thoughts back then, how you actually thought of expressing your sentiments to me back then. It's about time that you hear mine, as if we're walking by the sea shore in the starless night again. Talk to you later.
28 April 2010
26 April 2010
25 April 2010
7th Heaven
pieced by
Karen
As what they would say, I could actually die now and go to heaven, after coming from a retreat. Oh, but as the minutes go by, my chances of getting sure ticket to heaven is decreasing, and from the priority list, i'm slowly starting to go back to being waitlisted.
Hello, earth dwellers. Happy to see you! :)
20 April 2010
18 April 2010
Come Fly Away With Me
pieced by
Karen
Come fly away with me
and we'll change the color of the sky
to green, yellow, orange and pink
Come float away with me
and we'll change the color of the sea
to teal, turquoise with a hint of gold
Come away with me
and we'll be in colors we've always wanted
in spring and autumn colors
in summer and winter hues
17 April 2010
Oh, Travel.
pieced by
Karen
I will travel to see the world. Not now, though. There's been too many hindrances to this travel. For instance, Iceland volcano eruption, which has stopped all flights going to and out of Europe. Earthquake in China has really shaken the country and it wouldn't be too welcoming. And the political dispute in Kyrgyztan has divided the nation where a lot of civilian supporters are getting killed. Poland has been mourning for the death of its leaders and prominent figures who died in a plane crash. It would only be a mourning and somber travel. There's just too many things happening in the world. But we all know these are not the very hindrances to my travel. It's time and resources to spare that I don't have.
For now, I have the whole world in my fingertips, as I surf through the internet, as I change the channel in our cable TV, as I read through magazines and newspaper. For now, the world has got me, but pretty soon, I, too, will conquer the world.
For now, I have the whole world in my fingertips, as I surf through the internet, as I change the channel in our cable TV, as I read through magazines and newspaper. For now, the world has got me, but pretty soon, I, too, will conquer the world.
11 April 2010
10 April 2010
Only Because
pieced by
Karen
...we think far ahead of what's present, that we fail to enjoy our supposedly happy moments. I just think the saddest fear there is is the fear to be happy. That's just depressing in all aspects. So, stop worrying about tomorrow! How about living today like it's the greatest blessing you will ever receive?
Happy heart :)
09 April 2010
Of Letting Go
pieced by
Karen
Of things we hold on to because of uncertainties
Of thoughts we can't let go even if they give us anxieties
Of people who break us in carelessness
Of goals that gave us restlessness,
Let go.
It will always be difficult to let go, but let the burgeoning tomorrow inspire us to look beyond what we have at present. Uncertainties will always thrive in itself, but don't let its presence hinder us from exploring the unknown.
04 April 2010
Beautiful End
pieced by
Karen
They say there are no coincidences, that the amusing circumstances where two events take place at the same time or one after another is a meaningful design. It may not be easily understood, but it's something one could appreciate after some thought.
Today is Easter Sunday, and so is my Dad's 2nd death anniversary. It's not very easy for me to integrate these two important events of the day in a blog entry, but here goes...
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Soon as the visitors left, I went to sit on your bed. I got my exam reviewers back, and had a futile attempt to review. I could not understand anything from what I was reading because it had already been a tiring night. But I held on with my review as I also held on to your hand. It was the perfect excuse to stay up late. Truth was I had no intention of sleeping that night. But my exhaustion got the better of me, my eyes grew heavy, and I fell asleep still holding your hand.
That was our last moment together. I would have wanted my memory to end there, but like in most instances in life, we wait to experience some bitterness in order to let a beautiful end to flourish.
I was awakened by your hand shaking. You were already having seizure. Immediately I looked at the time, it was around 4 in the morning. And from that time on, your vital signs slowly declined. Even as your eyes were closed, and still having seizure, tears fell from your eyes. Then your head tilted as if to give in to sleep, and soon enough you were no longer struggling, but looked very much like a child peacefully sleeping. Songs of prayers resounded in the room. It was around 8am when you expired. The beautiful end was to see you die in peace. You made it, Dad.
I have long understood the meaning of death, and I have accepted well enough your death, Dad. But this understanding and acceptance has not exempted me from helplessly missing you. I still find myself asking from time to time, 'Are you still here, Dad? Or are you just at work / abroad, and that very soon I will welcome you by the door as you get home?' But truth never fails to dawn on me with the bittersweet thought, I can only go as far as keeping you in my heart.
The bitter part is already done, and the beautiful end has already unfolded. God had not died only to end things in bitter grief. He has resurrected in order to give Life, and this is the very reason why each of us has a chance to have our own beautiful end.
03 April 2010
To Pope
pieced by
Karen
It's hard not to say anything about it.
While the rest of the Christian community experience in their own way being one with the Passion of Christ, the Pope himself experiences collective violence from the verbal attacks of both Catholics and non-Catholics.
Why are they doing this? I understand their indignation towards injustice and the lack of morality of sexual abuse. But it's simply unfathomable to regard you as not concerned about this issue, much more to accuse you of doing a cover-up of these issues, both old and recent. You're a public figure, but they don't know you enough, nor our faith. Or maybe, they simply wish to be stubborn about this because creating this issue gives them a sense of righteousness. Indeed, it's a paradox to have the head figure of the Church tolerate sexual abuse of children by priests. But it's an overly magnified issue in the most distorted fashion and from the most inappropriate angle. You have been put in a position in which whatever action you take, or words you express will be taken against you, always in different meaning and interpretation. Whether you act in the virtue of prudence, or in the virtue of daringness, you sit at a throne where a lot of people would want to cast the first stone, and everything you do will be taken against you. And yet you never sowed hatred. And yet, forgiveness and understanding is still your foremost defense.
I cannot imagine the hurt you're going through right now, more so, your unrelenting forgiveness of these attacks. Know that I am with you through prayers.
Your daughter,
Karen
02 April 2010
Wake Up
pieced by
Karen
Oh, it's not going to be very easy to follow a note such as this, especially if it's on a sticky note. Unless, maybe, if it "sticks" on your dreams. Warning: there won't be any snooze for this.
Ah, but its simplicity speaks of its straightforwardness. I guess some circumstances do not need a lot of elaboration or loud alarms, but just the simple reminder, wake up.
01 April 2010
Crowd
pieced by
Karen
He looked at me among a crowd of believers. And in his loving gaze, he wanted me to know that I have nothing to worry. Everything is in his hands now. Abandonment, that's what he's been saying with his hands stretched out before me.
In the most ordinary circumstances of the day, you call upon me to give a little sacrifice, to be with you in your passion, share a little in the cross you carry. And what is this compared to the much suffering you endured out of your love for me, out of your great love for mankind.